Definitions by Ben Armitage

Wobloke

Pronounced woo-bloke.

A particularly unconvincing trans woman who maintains the facial features of a middle aged working class man from northern England.

So not a Wo-man but a Wo-Bloke

"Don't look now but look at that tranny at the bar drinking the pint of Mild and eating a pickled egg"
"Mate, definite wobloke"

See Time Healeys character in the ITV sitcom Benidorm

Wobloke by Ben Armitage November 1, 2025

Melasathenia

Medical term for "Black Fatigue" from the Greek Melas (black) and -athenia (weariness)

"Man I'm sick of seeing hood rats jump the turnstiles on the Subway and walkjngvout of Target with a trolley full of unpaid goods"

"Sojnds like an acute case of Melasathenia to me, dude"

Melasathenia by Ben Armitage October 17, 2025

Fatina 

A name for stretch marks on an otherwise fine woman.

From Fat and Patina

"Dude,such a shame about Britney, since her kids her ass is like cottage cheese"

"Mate it's her Fatina"

Fatina by Ben Armitage August 1, 2022

Did You Try Putting It In Rice?

Standard response to a seemingly impossible to correct mistake, based on the often said query to any type of mobile phone damage.

Dave "FFS I just reversed my new car into the car park wall and totaled the bumper"

Terry "Did you try putting it in rice?"

Did You Try Putting It In Rice? by Ben Armitage February 12, 2022

Dictionraty 

A Semi-Mythical work of litreature, documenting the many uses, bastardisations and paraphrases containing the term Rat, compiled one week in August 2003 by a group of dedicated skivers.

Only one of the original seven bound copies is now known to exist.

It was a good week, work was minimal and the emails were flying. The Rat was out there - squeaks were coming left, right and centre and the Dictionraty was born

Dictionraty by Ben Armitage November 26, 2007

Gujarat 

1. Gujarat is a state in the Republic of India.

2. A Fine example of Hebrew/Yiddish Womanhood (gu-jew-RAT)

2. Ratter #1: "Hey, that Nigella Lawson - Gujarat"
Ratter #2: "Squeak"

Gujarat by Ben Armitage November 26, 2007