Baller-Ass Nigga's definitions

babydaddy

The father of a woman's child, used to denote that the father is neither the mother's husband or boyfriend, but just the sperm donor.

"Sheeeeeeeeet Uniqua, why you ain't callin' yo' babydaddy fo' Father's Day?" -Shamiqua
"Cuz I gots seven different babydaddies and I don't got enuff food stamps to call dem all AND buy scratch-off lottery tickets."

by Baller-Ass Nigga July 7, 2003

alpine

A car stereo made by Alpine. Considered to be the highest-quality around by the same kinds of people who think watermellon and fried chicken is gourmet cuisine.

Then I let the Alpine play/
I was pumpin' new shit by NWA.
-Easy-E, "Boyz in the Hood"

by Baller-Ass Nigga July 9, 2003

Map of Hawaii

A pattern of semen deposited on the body (especially a featureless, fairly flat part of the body, like the back or stomach) of a sex partner. Named because the drops of semen appear in a chain like the Hawaiian islands.

After I got done plowing your mother in the ass, I was ready to cum, so I pulled my dick out and gave her a map of Hawaii on her back.

by Baller-Ass Nigga July 7, 2003

pizza dough

When a man is receiving oral sex, he takes his (substantial) scrotum and flattens it all over the fellator/fellatrix's face. Much like tea bagging, but pressing the scrotum into the face, not putting it into the mouth.

by Baller-Ass Nigga July 7, 2003

cheese-eating surrender monkeys

The French.

Originated by Groundskeeper Willie of the Simpsons. Popularized by Jonah Goldberg, National Review Online Editor-at-Large

"Bonjooooooooooouuuuuuuuuuurrrrr, ye cheese-eating surrender monkeys."

by Baller-Ass Nigga July 7, 2003

craftmatic adjustable bed

Device used to facilitate autofellatio

by Baller-Ass Nigga July 9, 2003

5069

The placement of two police automobiles in opposite directions such that the front driver's side windows of each automobie is adjacent to the other, thus facilitating conversation between the drivers.

From 50, slang for police + 69 the sexual position allowing mutual oral sex, in which two bodies lay in opposite directions.

Passenger: "Slow down, man, there are cops up ahead."
Driver: "Relax, they're not setting up a speed trap. They're just talking. See? They're in a 5069."

by Baller-Ass Nigga March 31, 2005