Definitions by Anonymous submissions

Einstein's theory of relative titty 

The more closely related to you a female is, the larger her breasts have to be for you to be enticed to get all incestual with her. As it is generally frowned upon in most cultures to bome one's sister, said sister's breasts would need to be the size of basketballs in order to tempt one into doing so. However, a fourth cousin twice removed might have non-existent breasts, but one would have no qualms about shagging her, as the two parties share only a dash of genetic material (in her vagina).

'Dude, Einstein's theory of relative titty is definitely factual as no sooner had Mum had her double D boob job, then I was on top of her sending my penis back from whenst it came (her vagina). Then I came.'

Einstein's theory of relative titty by Anonymous submissions December 6, 2017

cuntverted

When a woman decides to abstain from sausage and become a vaginatarian, or when a homosexual male sees the light at the end of the tunnel (pun intended) and reverts to penetrating front bums.

'So I went muff diving on my friend Karen yesterday after the Madonna concert and I have to say, it was delightful; I'm cuntverted. Now the bullies can't call me 'Johnny Johnny fat gay twat' anymore, for as of today I am 'Johnny Johnny fat heterosexual twat with fabulous dress sense''

cuntverted by Anonymous submissions March 9, 2017

Charles Dickcunts 

The visionary pornographic director behind such adult film classics as 'A tale of two clitties,' 'David Copafeel' and 'Great expecting Asians.'

'Dude, did you catch the new Charles Dickcunts porno on Pay-per-view last night? I haven't been that hard since I watched 'The Res-erection of Christ; this time Jesus does the nailing.'

Charles Dickcunts by Anonymous submissions March 1, 2017

masdisturbing 

To use a truly disturbing image as wank fodder.

I was at my uncle's funeral yesterday and seeing him there lying cold and expressionless in an open casket brought a tear to my eye. Granted the tear was the end product of some vigorous masdisturbing but that's beside the point. I have to say that it was nice of the Priest to let me finish up before starting the service, although watching him deliver the sermon with my tadpoles still hanging from his gnashers was slightly off-putting.

masdisturbing by Anonymous submissions February 9, 2017

Interrogaytion 

An interrogation whereby the interrogator uses ostentatious homosexual behaviour as a means to elicit a confession from a perpetrator.

Interrogator: (completing an interpretive dance routine to 'It's raining men,' whilst dressed in pink hotpants, staring provocatively and deep-throating a banana)
'I can do this all night, sugar pea..'

Perpetrator: 'Okay, okay. I confess, I confess! I did it. Just please make this interrogaytion stop..and kindly remove your penis from my anus.'

Interrogaytion by Anonymous submissions February 1, 2017

Juxtapussytion 

A specific style of the artistic technique of 'juxtaposition' whereby one of the contrasting images contains a vagina motif.

'The Guggenheim has an incredibly powerful Andy Warhole work on display called 'pooch in the cooch.' The juxtapussytion of putting a Doberman in a midget's vagina not only made an interesting statement on the modern existential dilemma, but also gave me a bone so hard a dog couldn't chew through it.'

Juxtapussytion by Anonymous submissions January 29, 2017

Ejacelation 

To be so elated by a perceived favourable outcome in an event, no matter how mediocre, that one proceeds to ejaculate without warning in one's pants, regardless of the social situation.

Dentist: 'You were well behaved at your appointment today David, so here's a sticker'
David: (jizzes in pants)
Dentist: 'Ejacelation?'
David: 'Nope, prostate cancer.'

Ejacelation by Anonymous submissions January 27, 2017