The more closely related to you a female is, the larger her breasts have to be for you to be enticed to get all incestual with her. As it is generally frowned upon in most cultures to bome one's sister, said sister's breasts would need to be the size of basketballs in order to tempt one into doing so. However, a fourth cousin twice removed might have non-existent breasts, but one would have no qualms about shagging her, as the two parties share only a dash of genetic material (in her vagina).
'Dude, Einstein's theory of relative titty is definitely factual as no sooner had Mum had her double D boob job, then I was on top of her sending my penis back from whenst it came (her vagina). Then I came.'
by Anonymous submissions December 06, 2017
The metabolic ability of a female (or raging tail gunner) to process nature's yoghurt i.e. a teaspoon of sperm cider
Beatrice: 'Jessica, darling you look absolutely divine- you must tell me your diet secret'
Jessica: 'Well Beatrice, I guess I was just thankfully born with a stupendous metabojism as I manage to stay wafer-thin despite smoking more Poles than Hitler did in all of Word War II'
Jessica: 'Well Beatrice, I guess I was just thankfully born with a stupendous metabojism as I manage to stay wafer-thin despite smoking more Poles than Hitler did in all of Word War II'
by Anonymous submissions July 23, 2018
'Geez, I really managed to spazzle my boss at the work Christmas party last night- I got so shitfaced that I tried to covertly relieve myself in a coke bottle under the dinner table. In hindsight it was pretty ambitious to think that the poo would have been able to get through the coke bottle neck..'
by Anonymous submissions December 19, 2017
The systematic appraisal of a fanny (gash) using a set of predefined, uniform measures including smell, taste, acidity, presence of pubic hair, labia size and level of resemblance to a badly wrapped kebab. One should also comment upon how eager one is to 'smash' it, given the opportunity. Synonymous with 'gashessment'
So I did a fanalysis on Ruth last night and she scored really well- bald as a badger from her clunge to her aintcha, and kebab was well packed, but had to mark her down on the smell as it had the aroma of a rotting salmon carcas. Would still smash the shit out of it again though given the chance, but I'm all out of rufies, so can't see it happening anytime soon
by Anonymous submissions February 04, 2016
When an atheist follows his sack and pretends to be religious in order to penetrate a good Christian girl.
'Dude, I got sackreligious yesterday and devirginated this smoking hot Christian girl. I would have had absolutely no chance had she not thought that I loved Jesus....and had a knife.'
by Anonymous submissions December 18, 2017
The pinnacle of all dedicated feckless cum-shedders whereby the participant aims to ejaculate more than 13 times in a 24 hour period. 13 loads in generally accepted by industry insiders as being the level that separates the men from the boys.
'I did it , I did the masturbaker's dozen! Admittedly the last six were with a floppy and the jizz was purely gaseous, but by golly I finally did it. Now it's off to the doctor for me to get some ointment for the blisters and tennis elbow..'
by Anonymous submissions December 10, 2016
Jane: 'Wow, Johnny, I like what you've done with your frankfurter foliage; the braids look great'
Johnny: 'Thanks Jane, I thought you'd like them. Now, if you wouldn't mind, please continue sucking and let's keep the rest of the small talk until after the vinegar strokes. I'm paying you by the hour and every time you talk I am forced to look at you and be reminded about how utterly repulsive you actually are.'
Johnny: 'Thanks Jane, I thought you'd like them. Now, if you wouldn't mind, please continue sucking and let's keep the rest of the small talk until after the vinegar strokes. I'm paying you by the hour and every time you talk I am forced to look at you and be reminded about how utterly repulsive you actually are.'
by Anonymous submissions November 13, 2016