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Alfie The Horndog's definitions

The Universe

Everything there is, at least by peons that don't know any better.

The Universe is relative... to the creatures that live in it, it's everything, but to the people who create them it's just another task that has to be maintained every couple thousand years.

I think the Universe we humans live in is really a scientific experiment gone horribly wrong. I think it was created by some advanced, but very fallible, students using futuristic technology. To us these students are our Gods. To their professors they are total smegheads and gits, always causing trouble.
Two Gods are taking a leak in the restroom....

God #1: So how is The Universe going?

God #2: My professor thinks I'm going to have to flood the damn thing and start over from scratch. The DNA is just so corrupted from so much inbreeding.

I *knew* I should have added "Thou shalt not do thy brothers and sisters" to my list of commandments. How about yours?

God #1: Well I already tried the flood thing... plus I sent down massive earthquakes, tornadoes, volcanic eruptions and the like... and many of them STILL won't acknowledge my existence!

I think maybe if I send down that Messiah I promised to that git early on, it might help.

God #2: I wouldn't hold your breath on the Messiah thing. I mean it MIGHT work... in about 2000 years or so.
by Alfie The Horndog April 4, 2006
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Alessandra Marc

World famous opera singer from Spain. Considered by many to be the best female soprano in the industry.
Alessandra Marc is hailed at having the best singing voice of all time.
by Alfie The Horndog April 26, 2006
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Hong Kong dollar

The Hong Kong dollar coin is exactly the same size and weight as the American dollar coin, but the exchange rate makes it worth about 16 cents.

People can use the Hong Kong dollar coin in vending machines that accept American dollar coins! But you can get a $1.25 20 oz soda for about 32 cents and get 75 cents back!

I'm thinking of many money making schemes right now!!
I wonder if it's a federal offense to use the Hong Kong Dollar in a vending machine?
by Alfie The Horndog October 13, 2005
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Michael Moore

A filmmaker who is the absoute master at making gullible people think the way he does.
Brainless Chump: Did you see that movie about George Bush by Michael Moore? Did you know that George Bush was personally responsible for 911. You better vote Democrat.

Me: Uh, you know those same terrorists tried to blow up the World Trade Center during the Clinton administration right? And that Clinton did absolutely nothing about it?
by Alfie The Horndog October 17, 2005
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Fantabulous

Sort of like "fabulous" but much more fabulous than the word "fabulous" can convey. Like supercalifragilisticexpialidocius but shorter and easier to spell.
While on a free trip to Italy I won a free titanium frame bicycle and the customs agent let me bring it on the plane for free. What a Fantabulous trip!
by Alfie The Horndog November 29, 2005
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Veronica

Full name: Veronica Lodge. In the popular Archie comics, Betty's arch nemesis for Archie's affections.

Also refers to a any prude who's idea of passion is a friendly hug.
Archie always liked Betty better because Veronica was always such a Veronica.
by Alfie The Horndog November 30, 2005
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ernie

Homosexual lover? Gimme a break! They're PUPPETS people!
Ernie is a *puppet* - without genitalia!
by Alfie The Horndog December 9, 2005
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