Definitions by Ae5Ea8
bananalibrium
Combination of "banana" and "equilibrium," describing the delicate art of adapting your consumption of a bunch of bananas to the slow but steady ripening process.
The first act of bananalibrium is buying the bananas. Too green: bad. Too yellow: bad.
You do buy the bananas when you can foresee a use of the bananas that is reasonably certain to occur in the next 10 days or so, before the bananas go bad.
Once the bananas are sitting on your kitchen counter, the next stage begins. To consume the entire bunch (usually 5 to seven bananas), you have to have a plan, and you have to stick to it. Otherwise, some of the bananas will go bad. And unless you make banana bread, the overripe bananas are too nasty to eat on their own.
So once the ripening process starts, you have to, maybe, eat a banana that is a little bit less ripe than you'd ideally like. Within a few days, however, you are in the sweet spot...the bananas are perfect. Then the brown spots start, and you have to up your game to remain on track. At a certain point, the bananas are a bit overripe, but you can still enjoy them. There is the point of no return when the bananas are just gone. Then it is a matter of avoiding having rotten food on your counter. It is a little bit sad throwing away rotten bananas. It feels wasteful. There is a hint of personal failure that might accompany throwing them away.
The first act of bananalibrium is buying the bananas. Too green: bad. Too yellow: bad.
You do buy the bananas when you can foresee a use of the bananas that is reasonably certain to occur in the next 10 days or so, before the bananas go bad.
Once the bananas are sitting on your kitchen counter, the next stage begins. To consume the entire bunch (usually 5 to seven bananas), you have to have a plan, and you have to stick to it. Otherwise, some of the bananas will go bad. And unless you make banana bread, the overripe bananas are too nasty to eat on their own.
So once the ripening process starts, you have to, maybe, eat a banana that is a little bit less ripe than you'd ideally like. Within a few days, however, you are in the sweet spot...the bananas are perfect. Then the brown spots start, and you have to up your game to remain on track. At a certain point, the bananas are a bit overripe, but you can still enjoy them. There is the point of no return when the bananas are just gone. Then it is a matter of avoiding having rotten food on your counter. It is a little bit sad throwing away rotten bananas. It feels wasteful. There is a hint of personal failure that might accompany throwing them away.
As Buddha was chomping on a banana, Mahākāśyapa noted, "Man...this dude's in perfect bananalibrium."
bananalibrium by Ae5Ea8 April 5, 2015
speed test
Similar to the speed test used to test your internet connection, but this speed test is used to determine which checkout line is moving faster. It involves a snap judgment as to (1) which checkout clerk looks the least likely to encounter a situation in which they have to call the manager, and (2) which customers are least likely to have some sort of problem at checkout.
I used the speed test at Costco and got burned when the line I changed into was actually slower than the line I moved out of.
speed test by Ae5Ea8 April 5, 2015
breathie
Combination of "selfie" and "breath," describing the act of smelling your own breath by cupping your hand in front of your mouth while simultaneously exhaling and inhaling slowly. It is similar to a "selfie" because you are taking a snapshot of your self; in this case, your breath.
I woke up and took a breathie of my morning breath. Result? Disgusting: generally rude, with notes of horse manure.
cariosity
Combination of "car" and "curiosity," describing the strange fascination and curiosity when you see someone with the same exact car as you. The curiosity is heightened because although our personal interaction with the car is always experienced privately, another owner of the same car probably has similar experiences as you.
What cariosity I have...I can't stop thinking about who owns this green 1980 Datsun 210 station wagon.
Fenway Park
A place in a man's mind completely devoid of sexual connotation. The image of this place is used to talk oneself down from an erection. When a man is in a public place and threatened with the onset of an erection, a Code Red is sounded in his mind. There has to be — ever at the ready — a place where his mind goes to that has nothing at all to do with sex. The place has to be familiar and engaging. The attributes of the scene can be as various as each man is unique. The most successful scenes are those so deeply non-sexual that it is nearly certain that no sexual associations can be made. It takes focus, but with some self-control, a man can usually get his shit together before his arousal becomes evident to the outside world.
Hitting a home run over the Green Monster: it's my Fenway Park. The crack of the bat, the cheer of the crowd, the bright lights, perfectly manicured grass...
Fenway Park by Ae5Ea8 April 4, 2015
snell
Combination of "smell" and "sneeze," describing the smell of a sneeze. Try it sometime by putting your head into your tee shirt as you sneeze.
unfriend
Derived from "unfriending" someone on Facebook, to "unfriend" somebody in the real world is to stop acknowledging their presence. Instead of looking at them as you pass by, basically you just ignore them as if you had never met them.
Getting unfriended is especially weird when you know somebody by virtue of your participation in a group or team — which normally gives you at least a mild sense of camaraderie — but the person who unfriends you still insists on basically ignoring you.
Getting unfriended is especially weird when you know somebody by virtue of your participation in a group or team — which normally gives you at least a mild sense of camaraderie — but the person who unfriends you still insists on basically ignoring you.
It's official. JoBob unfriended me. I saw him in the hall yesterday and he didn't even acknowledge that we had ever met.