AKACroatalin's definitions

Silly Lily

A name recently applied to Lily Allen due to the idiotic statements she has made on a variety of subjects. Supposedly a singer, she is in reality a female Russell Brand; a brain dead member of the chattering classes suffering from acute princess syndrome, she is so full of her own piss and wind she feels that she has the right to criticise democratic processes in other countries.

She has made a number of statements so ridiculously uninformed as to be moronic and had to withdraw them from the public domain. This does not, however, stop her constant whining about the election of Donald Trump in the USA (which incidentally in fuck all to do with her) nor her failure to say anything about the tyrannical actions of Kim Jong Un in North Korea.

A typical luvvie with a declining career, she has a lot to say (none of which is worth listening to) but does SFA to address the so-called wrongs she bleats about. In short a rather stupid creature who, because of her minor celebrity status has never had to grow up and deal with the real world.

Silly Lily, the epitome of a fuckwitted female Malcolm.

by AKACroatalin January 29, 2017

Fart Fact 8

Farts are explosive, not just the way they come out of your arse, but two of the gases in farts are inflammable. Methane and hydrogen, are inflammable, which is what makes it possible to cause a small explosion if you hold a lighter up to your rear end when you fart. It’s not a good idea though, we’ve all heard the story about the kid who farted at the candles on his birthday cake and ended up in hospital with a badly burned backside so don’t do it.

“Have you heard Malcolm’s had to go to hospital after setting light to his fart.”
“Fart fact 8, though I’m surprised with the amount of gas he produces he didn’t end up in orbit.”

by AKACroatalin October 28, 2019

Krispy Kreme

Overpriced American crap masquerading as doughnuts. The price is ridiculous, the taste is disgusting and they are usually eaten by people with no sense of taste. Coming in numerous “flavours”, presumably to get people to continue trying them to find one that tastes other than sickeningly sweet. The company was founded by Vernon Rudolf in Winston-Salem, North Carolina in 1937 and has gone worldwide and downhill ever since. Apart from its revolting products the company is also well-known for its IPO and accounting scandals and is very quick to slope shoulders and drop the blame on someone. At the time of writing interest has been shown in its acquisition by the private German investment company JAB Beech, interesting as the company appears to have no outlets in Germany and, if they’ve got any sense, it never will have.

Krispy Kreme, the proof that, with enough advertising, you can get people to eat shit.

by AKACroatalin September 19, 2016

Oonch Fancier

British slang from the 1950s thought to have originated in East Anglia and meaning a lesbian. The word oonch is thought to have derived from the dialect pronunciation of 'conch' and was used as a slang name for the vagina due to the resemblance of the opening of the female genitalia to the opening of a conch shell. Thus a lesbian became an oonch fancier.

"Ah! I wouldn't mind a bit of that!"
"Forget it boy! She's an oonch fancier."

by AKACroatalin April 10, 2015

Counterproductive Workplace Behaviour

This is behaviour on the part of an employee or employees that works against the legitimate interests of the organisation that employs them or indeed their own interests. This sort of behaviour is detrimental to the organisation, its employees, clients and customers. It is believed that persons with a tendency to experience anger are more likely to respond to a stressful situation, such as being treated unfairly with counterproductive workplace behaviour.

When the supervisor blamed Charlie for his own mistake, Charlie deliberately jammed all three photocopiers in a fit of counterproductive workplace behaviour.

by AKACroatalin June 11, 2015

Health and Well-being

Health and well-being can mean different things within different cultures and may even change over time. A negative definition would be the absence of physical illness or disease and psychological distress. A positive definition would be the attainment and maintaining of physical and psychological fitness. Unfortunately, the label was used by discriminatory feminists to promote female only rest areas from which all males are excluded. Even the so-called experts couldn’t leave it alone; they had to have a holistic definition, namely, that health and well-being is the result of a combination of physical, social, intellectual and emotional factors, which most people could have worked out for themselves, aren’t “experts” wonderful.

“Some dozy bimbo from HR wants to run health and well-being awareness courses, just so she can peddle her feminist bullshit.”
“Oh fuck!”

by AKACroatalin September 1, 2016

Nomophobe

A nomophobe is a person suffering from nomophobia. You know the people I mean, the ones with a mobile phone stuck to their ear. If they aren’t talking on it they’re fiddling with it in some bizarre form of electronic masturbation. If they stop for more than five seconds, a strange glazed look comes over them, starting at their eyes but gradually taking over their whole face until they either start chattering rubbish to somebody or fiddling with the thing like Nero on steroids. When you next see one take a really good look as they are a dying species, too busy playing with their phones to breed.

Nomophobe, a sad act constantly pissing about with a mobile phone.

by AKACroatalin April 28, 2015