Definitions by AKACroatalin
Buggerance Factor
This phrase is derived from the English slang word buggerance meaning something annoying, an untimely interruption or anything else that interferes with the smooth progress of work. It is used a lot in project management where it became necessary to allow additional time for these unforeseen and unforeseeable events. Where it was not possible to allow this time against a particular element of the project, a non-specific increase in time was allowed to cover these eventualities, this became known as the Buggerance Factor.
The Buggerance Factor is there to cover the extra time needed to rectify those things, which never ever go wrong, but invariably do if you fail to allow for them. It is usually added because of a sixth sense on the part of the project manager that something unexpected is going to happen and is the factor that allows for the law of project management that states Parkinson, Murphy and Sod are alive and well and working on your project. See also Malcolm’s Law.
The Buggerance Factor is there to cover the extra time needed to rectify those things, which never ever go wrong, but invariably do if you fail to allow for them. It is usually added because of a sixth sense on the part of the project manager that something unexpected is going to happen and is the factor that allows for the law of project management that states Parkinson, Murphy and Sod are alive and well and working on your project. See also Malcolm’s Law.
That Heale Malcolm has managed to wangle his way on to the next project!
That fuckwit! We'd better increase the buggerance factor in that case.
That fuckwit! We'd better increase the buggerance factor in that case.
Buggerance Factor by AKACroatalin February 28, 2019
Renifleur
A renifleur is someone, can be male or female, with a medical condition that gives them sexual pleasure from smells. It doesn’t result in them being slightly turned on, but clothes off, into bed, or even the nearest patch of grass, and get it on. The condition can be triggered by a particular smell, usually quite specific and forming part of a fragrance, but in very rare cases it can be triggered by ordinary, everyday, common smells which means that the person must be kept in a sterile, odour-free environment. Surprisingly, many people exhibit a toned down version of this trait which is why males and females can be more sexually receptive when a certain perfume or aftershave is used.
Have you smelled the stench coming off Malcolm? He's enough to make the most ardent renifleur get a gas mask!
Renifleur by AKACroatalin February 27, 2019
Cherries
This is US Army slang commonly used during the Vietnam War. It was also used during the Korean War and may even date back to World War II. It means a soldier who is a combat virgin whose behaviour in combat is, therefore, unpredictable. When soldiers like this arrived in a unit, as a replacement for someone killed or wounded, they were often viewed with suspicion and were referred to as FNGs, until they had proved themselves.
Cherries by AKACroatalin February 21, 2019
Karzy
It means a toilet; or rather it’s the room containing the toilet. Like so many other words this owes its origins to the London Cockneys who used the word ‘Carsey’ to mean a privy which makes you feel a bit sorry for anyone who is named Carsey. It is possible that the word comes from the Italian ‘casa’ meaning ‘house’ and can refer to the modern indoor facility with associated bath, shower and washing facilities. Originally, however, it meant a basic outdoor crapper, often shared by several large families which would make it interesting if several people had the squitters.
Incidentally, the Cockneys also used the word carsey to mean a den or brothel, so maybe it’s not that unusual to have it off in the bog.
Incidentally, the Cockneys also used the word carsey to mean a den or brothel, so maybe it’s not that unusual to have it off in the bog.
Malcolm has just come out of the karzy after a ten minute residence.
Shit that means respirators on or an hour’s wait before it’s fit for humans.
Shit that means respirators on or an hour’s wait before it’s fit for humans.
Karzy by AKACroatalin February 20, 2019
CUNT
This is a really versatile word which can be used in at least three different ways although there are probably more:
1. An informal name for the vagina, also known as snatch, pussy, fanny, twat and a less complimentary form stench trench. What is quite interesting is that the word was in common use during the Middle Ages and was not perceived to be offensive and was the name given to a number of streets in various British towns. E.g. Parsons Street in Banbury Oxfordshire was once called Gropecunt Lane; could there be a connection in the name change?
2. A derogatory name for a person you intensely dislike.
3. Possibly the commonest used is as an acronym standing variously for
a. Computer User Non-Technical (someone who is a total fuck up when they try to use a computer);
b. Completely Useless Non-Thinker (someone who is a brain dead motherfucker);
c. Cannot Understand New Technology (someone who is a combination of a and b);
d. Cannot Utilise Normal Thinking (someone who is eccentric, but not in a good way);
1. An informal name for the vagina, also known as snatch, pussy, fanny, twat and a less complimentary form stench trench. What is quite interesting is that the word was in common use during the Middle Ages and was not perceived to be offensive and was the name given to a number of streets in various British towns. E.g. Parsons Street in Banbury Oxfordshire was once called Gropecunt Lane; could there be a connection in the name change?
2. A derogatory name for a person you intensely dislike.
3. Possibly the commonest used is as an acronym standing variously for
a. Computer User Non-Technical (someone who is a total fuck up when they try to use a computer);
b. Completely Useless Non-Thinker (someone who is a brain dead motherfucker);
c. Cannot Understand New Technology (someone who is a combination of a and b);
d. Cannot Utilise Normal Thinking (someone who is eccentric, but not in a good way);
1 Have you seen the cunt on that, it could swallow an elephant;
2 and 3 Whatever way you look at it, that Heale Malcolm is a complete cunt;
2 and 3 Whatever way you look at it, that Heale Malcolm is a complete cunt;
CUNT by AKACroatalin February 18, 2019
Pavement Fairy
British Royal Navy slang dating from around the time of World War I. A Pavement Fairy is the name for a prostitute, whore or woman of easy virtue. The pavement part comes from these women having 'beats' on the pavement of a particular street, whilst the fairy has nothing to do with homosexuality, but possibly derives from Cinderella's Fairy Godmother who makes wishes come true.
At one time Union Street, in Plymouth UK was notorious for the numbers of pavement fairies plying their trade to give solace to soldiers, sailors and Royal Marines. There's even a rude version of the Irish folk song 'The Spanish Lady' that mentions both Plymouth and a pavement fairy:
As I walked into Plymouth City,
Union Street it was late at night,
There did I see a pavement fairy
Washing her snatch in the pale moonlight,
First she washed it then she dried it
Over a fire of red hot coal
In all my life I ne'er did see
So much singed hair round a dirty great hole.
At one time Union Street, in Plymouth UK was notorious for the numbers of pavement fairies plying their trade to give solace to soldiers, sailors and Royal Marines. There's even a rude version of the Irish folk song 'The Spanish Lady' that mentions both Plymouth and a pavement fairy:
As I walked into Plymouth City,
Union Street it was late at night,
There did I see a pavement fairy
Washing her snatch in the pale moonlight,
First she washed it then she dried it
Over a fire of red hot coal
In all my life I ne'er did see
So much singed hair round a dirty great hole.
Joe's out on the razzle tonight, but he's goin' for the pavement fairy first before he gets too pissed.
Pavement Fairy by AKACroatalin February 14, 2019
Londoncentric
It’s use has become quite common now in the United Kingdom and has two possible meanings:
1 It can mean centred on London and the belief that what is happening there is a true reflection of what is happening in the country as a whole. This belief is a mainstay of pundits, prognosticators and think tanks, which probably explains why they so often get things so wrong it would be laughable if it wasn’t so damned annoying.
2 It is also used to describe the attitude of Londoners, not just those born there, but transplants from elsewhere who seem incapable of understanding that London is not the centre of the universe. This self-centred, egotistical arrogance has led to the belief that anywhere else in the country or even the world is not worthy of their attention. In short it describes people whose heads are so far up their own arseholes that if their eyes aren't brown then they ought to be.
1 It can mean centred on London and the belief that what is happening there is a true reflection of what is happening in the country as a whole. This belief is a mainstay of pundits, prognosticators and think tanks, which probably explains why they so often get things so wrong it would be laughable if it wasn’t so damned annoying.
2 It is also used to describe the attitude of Londoners, not just those born there, but transplants from elsewhere who seem incapable of understanding that London is not the centre of the universe. This self-centred, egotistical arrogance has led to the belief that anywhere else in the country or even the world is not worthy of their attention. In short it describes people whose heads are so far up their own arseholes that if their eyes aren't brown then they ought to be.
1 In an interview on Channel 4 News, January 2014 Chuka Umunna, Shadow Secretary of State for Business, Innovation and Skills, used the word Londoncentric when replying to a question concerning the British Government's economic figures.
2 Since he was moved to HQ, Malcolm has become really londoncentric.
2 Since he was moved to HQ, Malcolm has become really londoncentric.
Londoncentric by AKACroatalin February 13, 2019