AKACroatalin's definitions

BMW

In German it stands for Bayerische Motoren Werke but also Bersten Mal Wieder or broken down again. In English the equivalent is Bavarian Motor Works and Bought Mainly by Wankers, but also Big-up My Willy, the slightly racist Black Man’s Wheels and Badly Made Wreck.

“That fuckwit Malcolm’s bought a Beamer! It’s got a manual shift and he’s only licensed for an automatic!”
Well what do you expect, BMW bought mainly by Wankers!

by AKACroatalin May 27, 2017

Hibernacle

You’ve guessed it! It’s a place where you go to hibernate; somewhere to go in winter to get away from petty annoyances, destressify and catch up on sleep. Too good to be true? Yeah, it probably is.

Malcolm is so stupid, he thought hibernacle was a type of barnacle.

by AKACroatalin January 3, 2017

Ripped him a second asshole

This is not solely applicable to blokes, females can also get a second asshole, so feminists eat your fucking hearts out. The phrase originated in the UK where it was usually “ripped him a second arsehole” but over time the spelling changed. The original meaning was to attack someone, usually unexpectedly, brutally and viciously so that they were completely overwhelmed and unable to defend themselves. It can also mean to criticise someone’s thoughts, ideas or lifestyle either with or without cause or justification. The usually accepted definition is that which is applied to the workplace where it means to reprimand someone so totally and effectively, that the person on th receiving end wishes they could crawl under the carpet and die. So if you have ripped him/her a second asshole you have delivered a rebuke of epic proportions.

That WOFS Malcolm has fucked up once too often so the boss called him in and ripped him a second asshole. He practically crawled out afterwards looking like he’d pissed himself and cleared his desk.

by AKACroatalin December 6, 2016

Fart Fact 7

There are lots of fart jokes, but this one holds a record, it’s around 4000 years old and is the oldest known joke. It's an ancient Sumerian proverb that says, "Something which has never occurred since time immemorial; a young woman who did not fart in her husband's lap.”

Fart fact 7 must have happened to every bloke who has ever had a girl sit on his lap.

by AKACroatalin October 27, 2019

Likeable

Likeable is an adjective meaning pleasant or attractive, it describes something that is easy to like

Something that is cute is usually likeable.

by AKACroatalin April 19, 2015

Table Manners

The conventions that constitute polite behaviour when consuming food.

That fat bastard Malcolm eats like a pig, he's got no table manners.

by AKACroatalin April 13, 2015

Firkytoodling

Yes, I didn’t believe it either, but it’s English slang from Victorian times and it means anything from snogging through making out to getting it on.

All set for a bit of firkytoodling?

by AKACroatalin December 28, 2016