Definitions by AKACroatalin
Did you know
Although phrased as the start of a question, it is actually an introduction from somebody who wants to impart information. It’s used quite a lot by some teachers but it usually comes from somebody who wants bore your arse off telling you things you don’t need to know, don’t want o know and which are less interesting than the sex lives of Venusian bacteria. It’s usually impossible to get away without committing murder unless you can comeback with something that stops them in their tracks and allows you to escape.
Did you know that if you rearrange the letters of “Happy Christmas” you get “Crappy Shitmash”?
Yes, and if you rearrange “Merry Christmas” you get “Mr Mrs Itchyarse”.
Yes, and if you rearrange “Merry Christmas” you get “Mr Mrs Itchyarse”.
Did you know by AKACroatalin April 24, 2015
Self-aggrandising
Self-aggrandising is what people who have got fuck-all going for them do. It means boasting about yourself and your abilities, telling everyone how wonderful you are, broadcasting copious quantities of bullshit thickly overlaid with FIGJAM. Normal people exposed to the effects of some self-aggrandising nonentity usually experience attacks of acute nausea followed by the need to get as far away as possible from the source irritation.
Self-aggrandising by AKACroatalin April 23, 2015
Unfit For Purpose
This expression originated with the Royal Navy where stores or equipment were found to be damaged, wouldn’t work or could not be used for the purpose for which they were intended. The expression quickly found wider usage and is now applied to not just stores and equipment, but to organisations, designs even concepts. It can also be applied to co-workers if they are not doing their job properly and, in extreme cases, used as a put down where someone is a complete arsehole and unsuitable to be considered part of the human race.
Unfit For Purpose by AKACroatalin April 23, 2015
Kweef
To release gas through the penis. WARNING – This may indicate a potentially life threatening medical condition. A person suffering from this may have a fistula, you can read up on this on the internet, but this case it means that there is a hole between the prostate and rectum. You must get treatment for this, see your doctor. If there is any faecal discharge go to A & E or the Emergency Room at your nearest hospital immediately do put this off about your life may be in danger.
Charlie used to kweef a lot and ended up in hospital on life support because he didn’t have the sense to see his doctor.
Kweef by AKACroatalin April 22, 2015
Dorkelfie
Literally a selfie taken by someone who is a dork. The ultimate destination for these pictures is social media and the people who take them are usually insecure, self-obsessed, self-aggrandising sad acts with no real friends. Oh dear! I think I may just have described a significant proportion of Facebook users.
Dorkelfie by AKACroatalin April 22, 2015
Magniloquence
Magniloquence means the use of grand or powerful language, something politicians try to do but invariably make a complete cock up of it. The word comes from the Latin “magnus” (great) and “loquus” (speaking).
Magniloquence by AKACroatalin April 22, 2015
A Eunuch’s Ball Sack
This is an expression used to denote something that is irrelevant, useless or unfit for purpose. If you wanted to say someone was stupid, you could say “Her head is as empty as a eunuch’s ball sack.” If you wanted to say someone was useless, “He’s as much use as a eunuch’s ball sack.” Cowardly “If courage was balls you’d be a eunuch’s ball sack.” The expression is versatile and can be adapted to a wide variety of purposes.
A Eunuch’s Ball Sack by AKACroatalin April 21, 2015