The chipmunk-like creatures that live in the telephone wires and transfer the words from one receiver to the other. The "Static" as people call it, is the low hiss as a result of the Telephonians getting upset. Telephonians are not commonly recognized by others, as the government fears that PETA would try to intervene in the telephone system by calling this display of teamwork "Animal Abuse." Telephonians are believed to be direct descendents from Jesus, as they seem to have eternal life. No dead Telephonian has ever been sighted.