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Cooked your own spleen 

"A well known expression for a newspaper closing" - David Mitchell

To put yourself into a unfortunate/self-damaging situation where the blame cannot be successfully shifted onto someone else i.e. Shooting yourself in the foot
Phil: Did you get to shag that slag from oceana?
James: Nah fam, got too wasted and passed out
Phil: You've cooked your own spleen, there!
James: I know, bruv

Mike G: Did you break up with Lydia?
Marcel: Nope. Told her I loved her by accident.
Mike G: CYOS.

Reginald Poshington: Hello there old chap! How goes it?
Rogers Chestertonmastercard IV: Not so well, I'm afraid old sport. I just heard back from the Regatta Club and it seems my work to further the segregation amongst the races within my rugby club, albeit a step back into the ways of the splendour of Uncle Adolf, served as a conflict of interests and hence they have heaved me from the running to become a partner. Daddy won't be pleased at all.
Reginald: Well then, old spice! You've cooked your own spleen, haven't you?
Rogers: In deed! This is TRULY a recipe for disaster

News of the world's last headline: "We've Cooked Our Own Spleen"

Splamining your Spleeds 

To describe having friends over and they're all stoned as fuck and doing dumb but funny shit
Wibigiblades..
Ok bro stop splamining your spleeds
WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED
Cigarette: Northern slang for a cigarette, used oft by mashed up mancunian ravers becasue of the resemblance of a hot(electric)stove to the end of a lit cigarette. Originated circa 1991 in the early halcyon days of the rave culture; we speculate during a drug fuelled hallucination by said manc.
'fuck me noel, i am bolloxed, is that a ciggy in your mouth, or the stove from me 'nans kitchen'/
General use: 'Give us a stove you cunt'
stove by anthony willison March 18, 2004
Word of the Day on August 4, 2026

Walky-Talky 

A derogatory term for able bodied people or people that can walk. This definition was coined by disabled influencer Valerie Weber
Person in wheelchair: “look at that walky-talky over there.”

Friend in wheelchair: *looking at person who is walking* “yeah haha
Walky-Talky by odd muffin October 5, 2021
Word of the Day on August 3, 2026

Scrapnel 

(N) :
All pieces left over after an art project or home improvement.
"After we made the decorations for the party, there was 'scrapnel' all over the floor"
Scrapnel by IceSniper February 22, 2025
Word of the Day on August 2, 2026
A hardo is a person who tries extremely hard at everything. Most times a hardo will try very hard at things that do not require excessive effort. For example, sports practices, gym class, etc.
Wow did you see Jack at practice today? What a hardo!
Hardo by Thuhkilluh September 4, 2014
Word of the Day on August 1, 2026