A person who somehow manages to use Instagram/Facebook to make their life seem even shittier than it probably actually is.
"Hey did you see Mark's pic of him with that D-list celebrity he was unreasonably excited to meet?"
"No, sorry. Mark's fun to have a few drinks with, but honestly I find him pretty unInstaresting."
When you tap through a beautiful woman’s Instagram story expecting a bikini pic… and instead get a breaking-news take on politics she learned 12 seconds ago that absolutely nobody asked for and she does not know anything about. And she keeps posting them because the views are high, meanwhile the guys watching are just patiently waiting for the next scandalous outfit drop.
Stephanie is in the Bahamas and I keep checking her feed.
Someone or something that bites your ankles.
To a postman, an ankle biter is often known as a dog.
To an adult, an ankle biter may be a toddler.
To hikers, an ankle biter is sometimes a tick.
And so on.
When a man will search for hours to find something that is laying out in the open on a table. Items are often easily found by a women.
Man: "I have been searching for hours for keys."
Woman: "You mean the ones sitting there on the coffee table?"
Man: "Where?"
Woman: "Right there in the middle of that table."
Man: "oh, must have been Male Pattern Blindness"