Turtle Sex

When a guy talks up his game, claiming he can hit it hard and fast, but when it comes down to it, fucks no better than a turtle.

Friend 1: "Hey! How was last night?"
Friend 2: "It was absolutely awful! He kept telling me how hard he wanted to fuck me, but then he was like a turtle, moving so slow! There's no other way to explain it besides Turtle Sex."

by snowspy May 8, 2011

Turtle Sex

The act of having sexual intercourse, turtle style. This involves the woman bent over, with the man bent on top of her entering her from behind. It is best accompanied by high-pitched frightening moans coming from either person.

girl 1 "last night me and mike were dancing, and he bent over on top of me! It was so arousing!"
girl 2 "looks like it was your first time having turtle sex!"

by turtlemaster1234 March 2, 2010

Turtle Sex

When you hold you lover down on the bed by their crotch using your hand in a claw shaped almost hook position and watch them struggle to get free with their arms and legs waving like an upside down Turtle.

Today I had turtle sex with my girlfriend. She couldn't stop laughing and I was taking bets mentally to guess if she was going to pee her pants or get turned on.

by k. c. irtap January 21, 2008

turtle sex

to masturbate with a turtle object

Such as a turtle pencil, stuffed turtle, turtle keychain, a real turtle.

Kristen: Where's Mert?
Lafundah: Oh he'll be late, he's having turtle sex again....

by keggerthebegger January 15, 2008

turtle sex

dinosaur sounds in movies are made by turtles having sex

brett: "yo bro you hear that dinosaur"
adam: "yea bro what about it"
brett: "that's turtle sex bro, they're fucking the shit out of each other"
adam: "oh my god bro i'm so turned on rn"
brett: "wanna fuck"
adam: "yes daddy"

by yourmotherishotxoxo May 17, 2023

ninja turtle sex

Sex with backpacks on

Want to do some ninja turtle sex?
Sure, let me get my backpack!

by DanKuren June 3, 2016

Ninja Turtle Sex

Sex with a backpack on.

W: Let's go have ninja turtle sex.
M: What's ninja turtle sex?
W: It's sex with a backpack on.

by Mr.MasterShake April 22, 2016