tortugan 

coined by James Downard, The term "tortugan" describes someone who holds so keen to an idea that they arent even willing to actually discuss it, protecting their mind like a tortoise (spanish: tortuga) protects itself with its shell.

Creationists are so tortugan, arguing with them is like trying to smell the color of 9.

tortugan by chrischi3 October 14, 2017

tortuga time 

"I feel like I'm in the twilight zone"

"You're on tortuga time. Welcome to the suck"
An unavoidable phenomenon that prevents you from arriving at your destination on time. There is no stopping it and can only be accepted - it's going to happen. Even if you attempt to leave earlier, some greater force prevents you from being on time. Just accept the inevitable, you're on Tortuga Time.

"You're on tortuga time. Welcome to the suck"

tortuga time by CAC3 June 13, 2016

tortucan 

somebody who's cognitive architecture is dominated by the ability to selectively NOT think about things they don't want to think about: brings up subjects they don't work through, don't work through details of something they think happened, not paying attention to most of the data.

When the creationists were presented data and scientific proof that the earth is 4.5 billion years old, they kept their tortucan attitude and didn't bother to study it.

tortucan by Retsejretsej July 14, 2019

tortuga 

a place that, in theory, doesn't exist-- you can only find it if you've been there before. nobody knows the exact location of it, or how to get there, unless somebody else knows the way. you can't ask for directions how to get there either.

person 1: hey, lets go to kyles house
person 2: i have no idea where it is, or how to get there
person 1: can we call him and get directions?
person 2: no, its like tortuga, nobody knows how to get there.
person 3: hey, ive been there once, i can lead the way.

tortuga by ka301243 April 25, 2011

tortuga 

Tortuga describes a person who is very studious and cares a lot about grades and studying.
Originally derived from studious people who wear big backpacks as high up as possible, making them look like a turtle, tortuga has now come to describe any person who is exceptionally scholarly and hard-working.

Look at Corinna, she's in the library every Friday. What a tortuga!!

John would rather study that come play football. He's such a tortuga.

tortuga by Johan Sladikus October 16, 2005

Dry Tortugas 

A U.S. national park in the Gulf of Mexico. Also known to a group of unfortunate few, the act of dry heaving out of your ass. This usually happens after a long episode of watery diarrhea. Your ass opens, goes through all the motions, your sphincter may even prolapse a little, but nothing at all comes out! And if you listen closely, you may even hear your butt hole open and shut as is fails to discharge any fecal matter.

JACOB:Hey Mike I'm gonna stop and grab a burrito bowl on my way into work. You want me to grab you something too?
MIKE: No way dude. Last time I ate one, I am pretty sure the guacamole was bad. I had the "Dry Tortugas" all night!

Dry Tortugas by CharlesUFarley June 7, 2018

Tortuga 

The spanish word for turtle or tortoise. Used to describe someone that works/moves extremely slow.

Chef 1: "Look at this fucking clown work, he's slow as dirt"
Chef 2: "Fucking tortuga"

Tortuga by ItsFlan May 14, 2013