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A U.S. national park in the Gulf of Mexico. Also known to a group of unfortunate few, the act of dry heaving out of your ass. This usually happens after a long episode of watery diarrhea. Your ass opens, goes through all the motions, your sphincter may even prolapse a little, but nothing at all comes out! And if you listen closely, you may even hear your butt hole open and shut as is fails to discharge any fecal matter.
JACOB:Hey Mike I'm gonna stop and grab a burrito bowl on my way into work. You want me to grab you something too?
MIKE: No way dude. Last time I ate one, I am pretty sure the guacamole was bad. I had the "Dry Tortugas" all night!
by CharlesUFarley June 07, 2018
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When your girl's laying on her back but isn't in the mood and won't let you past the shell.
I took her out for dinner and drinks, but when we got back she was a dry tortuga.
by midgetmugger December 07, 2017
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