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shit of a thousand wipes 

when poop breaks off halfway out of your ass and you wipe away at the stump as if it were a wet pastel poking out of your asshole.
I wont be coming to work today as I've been cursed by the shit of a thousand wipes.

the curse of a thousand wipes 

The poop that never comes off your ass
I have benn plagued by the curse of a thousand wipes