Skip to main content

The Johnson

The Johnson is when a man wakes up in the middle of the night, usually trying to get some booty, (not always, see examples below) and is rejected. When this happens, he proceeds to masturbate on his girl, in anger. There's three different known types of The Johnson.

1. The Johnson- Male masterbates on female then in good manor, cleans it up.
2. The Clean Johnson- Male masterbates on female in shower, water from the shower cleans her off.
3. The Dirty Johnson- Male is so pissed off because he is rejected that he masterbates on the female and leaves it there, for a nice surprise when she wakes up.
Erin got The Johnson on her birthday, she dosen't need a receipt for that!
by Topher Johnson January 12, 2009
mugGet the The Johnson mug.

The Johnson

The Johnson is when a man wakes up in the middle of the night, usually trying to get some booty, and is rejected. When this happens, he proceeds to masturbate on his girl. Their is three different types of The Johnson.
1. The Johnson- Male masterbates on female then in good manor, cleans it up.
2. The Clean Johnson- Male masterbates on female in shower, water from the shower cleans her off.
3. The Dirty Johnson- Male is so pissed off because he is rejected that he masterbates on the female and leaves it there, for a surprise when she wakes up.
Erin got The Johnson on her birthday, she don't need a receipt for that!
by Topher Johnson February 14, 2008
mugGet the The Johnson mug.

The Johnson

The Johnson is when a man wakes up in the middle of the night, usually trying to get some booty, (not always, see examples below) and is rejected. When this happens, he proceeds to masturbate on his girl, in anger. There's three different known types of The Johnson.

1. The Johnson- Male masterbates on female then in good manor, cleans it up.
2. The Clean Johnson- Male masterbates on female in shower, water from the shower cleans her off.
3. The Dirty Johnson- Male is so pissed off because he is rejected that he masterbates on the female and leaves it there, for a nice surprise when she wakes up.
Erin got The Johnson on her birthday, she dosen't need a receipt for that!
Erin got The Johnson for her birthday, she dosen't need a receipt for that.
by Topher Johnson February 15, 2008
mugGet the The Johnson mug.

The Johnson

A sex position where the female is put in the walls of jericho and brutally pounded
“bro did you hear? he put her in The Johnson last night
by caleb hodge December 21, 2022
mugGet the The Johnson mug.

The Johnson Treatment

The treatment of others by former president Lyndon B. Johnson, in which he would hypothetically 'pop one's bubble' to demand their attention. The 'Treatment' was described as having 'a large St. Bernard licking your face and pawing you all over.'

Also used when decribing being 'violated' by unwanted company.
Barkley gave me The Johnson Treatment the other day, so I filed a lawsuit.
by Katy B. November 25, 2006
mugGet the The Johnson Treatment mug.

The Johnson Effect

The Effect consists of a common practice where someone kisses someone and break up about a week later. The practice gets its name from a man named El B. Johnson, A common user of the practice.
Oh bro, that was totally The Johnson Effect at play.
by TrevanTe349 February 24, 2020
mugGet the The Johnson Effect mug.

The Johnson Effect

When your cellphone starts to ring as soon as you whip out your Johnson to take a piss.
“I ran to the bathroom to take a humongous piss, and of course the Johnson Effect happened as soon as I whipped out my shlong.
by Levi Spencer September 4, 2020
mugGet the The Johnson Effect mug.

Share this definition

Sign in to vote

We'll email you a link to sign in instantly.

Or

Check your email

We sent a link to

Open your email