steamwake

The powerful surge of humid, fecally poisoned air that lingers in a public bathroom stall after a user unleashes a particularly odorous mass of excrement. A solid globe of invisible fog that slowly dissipates from the toilet outward. The steamwake cannot be seen, it can only be detected by the next user upon desperately entering the stall, as all of the other ones will be occupied. This person must be pitied in the utmost, as they cannot leave the wake of steam (or steamwake) and they must either hold their breath until asphyxiation demands that they take a breath, or willingly allow the steamwake to envelop them and enter their lungs with a mixture of methane, water vapor, and microscopic traces of whatever food items (probably spoiled) that the previous user digested and expelled.

I couldn't help but feel sorry for the teacher who unwittingly entered the steamwake left behind after my morning deuce. It was my steamwake, and he didn't deserve to have to go through that on a day like today.

The rancid steamwake left behind after a seemingly reputable coworker left the stall made me question everything I valued about humanity.

by cYa fiRsT academic April 24, 2024