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Spanking your Monkey

Spanking your monkey is the act of masturbating and slapping your scrotum simultaneously. One may use this term as a synonym to jerking off or gooning.
After seeing Joe spanking his testes while jerking off, I found out he was spanking his monkey.

Later I confronted him saying "Were you spanking your monkey?"

Spanking your monkey

Beating your meat
Gavin stop spanking your monkey

SYNONYMS: chokin' the chicken, spanking the monkey, flogging the dolphin, beating off, jackin' off, buffing the banana, wanking off, playing with yourself, tootin' your horn, fighting the purple helmet warrior, rubbing the one-eyed snake, commiting spermi 

Some neurosurgeon posted a definition for masturbate with a bunch of synonyms and decided it would be a good idea to make them all one big link, which is how you got here to this page. Here's to that genius.
I hope that person catches AIDS from masturbating.



SYNONYMS: chokin' the chicken, spanking the monkey, flogging the dolphin, beating off, jackin' off, buffing the banana, wanking off, playing with yourself, tootin' your horn, fighting the purple helmet warrior, rubbing the one-eyed snake, commiting spermicide, taking your turn at the self-serve station, fishing with your zipper trout, beating the shit out of your midget friend, makin' mayo, polishing the family jewels, test-firing the old meat missle, wrapping the hand around the penis and moving it in a thrusting movement.
well known from south park
rednecks get angrry that future folk took there jobs so they yell
They took ouare jerbs!
Them future folk took ouare jerbs!
jerb by Jimberley Kim April 7, 2005
Word of the Day on May 22, 2026
An Irish phrase meaning shit, derived from ass
(Not to be confused with the literal description of one's buttocks)
"Did you hear the song Aylek$ dropped?"
"Hardly. Her music is absolute cheeks."

"My boyfriend say LaFlame is cheeks."
"Tell your boyfriend I said it's his mixtape that's cheeks."
Cheeks by thecartisan April 26, 2020
Word of the Day on May 21, 2026

sans sheriff 

Lawless use of fonts or typography, with no regard to aesthetics or legibility
I'm putting this CV straight in the bin. Written totally sans sheriff.
sans sheriff by Jamarley July 3, 2019
Word of the Day on May 20, 2026