They name their children Madison, Britney, Caitlyn, Tanner, Bryce, Trevor... they drive an SUV or minivan embossed with soccer ball decals and honor student bumper stickers... their two most prized possessions: their cell phone and their sport water bottle... their husbands are never around, either at work or playing golf... they live in a constant state of suspicion of anyone "different" or not from their neighborhood (which usually is gated to keep those other people out).
They and they alone have made the lamentable Kidz Bop series a huge success and consequently are raising social retards who when they finally are "free" and off to college, will become drunken frat boys and/or slutty sorority girls.
They and they alone have made the lamentable Kidz Bop series a huge success and consequently are raising social retards who when they finally are "free" and off to college, will become drunken frat boys and/or slutty sorority girls.
The soccer moms of River Place subdivision gathered at Starbucks to discuss the growing problem of suspicious-looking Hispanic lawn crews prowling up and down their streets. Molly suggested that they discuss the issue with the HOA, to which Cindy said, "Good idea! Maybe we can make a rule requiring all Hispanics who come to our neighborhood be required to pass a background check."
They all loved this idea and toasted Cindy with their frozen lattes.
They all loved this idea and toasted Cindy with their frozen lattes.
by Tom Fool May 24, 2007
1) An undervalued being, typically possessing low to no self-esteem, whom attempts to validate her existence by subjecting her spawn to meaningless activities and structure, often vandalizing her own vehicle, home and/or office space with memorabilia in an attempt to show others that she has not yet died.
2) A time bomb waiting to detonate in a therapist's office or a grocery check-out line after finding her double off coupon is no longer valid.
2) A time bomb waiting to detonate in a therapist's office or a grocery check-out line after finding her double off coupon is no longer valid.
by Machiavelli August 30, 2003
female mothers, sometimes single, that haul their little tykes around to soccer practice or games; vehicles they drive range from big ass gas hogging SUV's to mini vans with a soccer sticker placed near the back window; usually upper middle class cake eating assholes
The soccer mom gave me the "evil eye" after I clearly stated loudly, soccer should have stayed in Europe.
by gabe July 07, 2003
"soccer moms.....oooooright!" --quagmyer
by coldcheese March 23, 2004
Moms who love their kids and don't mind taking them places... especially to soccer practice. You gotta love 'em... especially those who coach soccer! Lot's of people tease them for driving big SUV's but that's because they are generous enough that they always end up driving tons of kids everywhere! They are hardworking and love their kids and soccer. It's a hard job so don't tease them... could you make dinner, lunches, breakfast, clean, drive kids everywhere,shop for an entire family,and still manage to be cheerful all at the same time?! (I'm not a soccer mom but it's annoying when people trash talk them... I am a soccer OBSESSIVE however)
by Annacoco April 30, 2005
Moms who love their kids and don't mind taking them places... especially to soccer practice. You gotta love 'em... especially those who coach soccer! Lot's of people tease them for driving big SUV's but that's because they are generous enough that they always end up driving tons of kids everywhere! They are hardworking and love their kids and soccer. It's a hard job so don't tease them... could you make dinner, lunches, breakfast, clean, drive kids everywhere,shop for an entire family,and still manage to be cheerful all at the same time?! (I'm not a soccer mom but it's annoying when people trash talk them... I am a soccer OBSESSIVE however)
by Annacoco April 30, 2005
A white middle or upper-middle class woman in her mid-20's to mid-40's with the following characteristics:
1. Her children usually have names like Zachary, Tyler, Kaitlin, Hannah, Hailey, or Dylan
2. Husband is a rather bland person that works as a family practice doctor, attorney, computers, selling pharmaceuticals, or other office drone.
3. Her children are always enrolled in at least 2 activities such as ballet, hockey, skiing, softball, and of course, soccer.
4. Favorite hobbies that don't involve her kids usually include drinking Starbucks, shopping at Kohl's or Old Navy, or gossiping with friends
5. Favorite restaurants are usually Chik-Fil- A, Taco Bell, Red Robin, and Chili's
6. Religious preference is usually Southern Baptist or Nondenominational Megachurch
7. They live primarily in California, Texas, Florida, Atlanta, D.C., Colorado, or Arizona suburbs
8. Vehicles driven are usually mid or large SUV's, Suburban's, or hatchbacks
9. Her children are either home schooled or attend a private or charter school
10. Her children are not allowed to watch PG-13 or R-rated movies, play any video games not rated E, play outside unattended, browse the internet without parental controls, or have contact with any adults outside of family, teachers, or coaches
1. Her children usually have names like Zachary, Tyler, Kaitlin, Hannah, Hailey, or Dylan
2. Husband is a rather bland person that works as a family practice doctor, attorney, computers, selling pharmaceuticals, or other office drone.
3. Her children are always enrolled in at least 2 activities such as ballet, hockey, skiing, softball, and of course, soccer.
4. Favorite hobbies that don't involve her kids usually include drinking Starbucks, shopping at Kohl's or Old Navy, or gossiping with friends
5. Favorite restaurants are usually Chik-Fil- A, Taco Bell, Red Robin, and Chili's
6. Religious preference is usually Southern Baptist or Nondenominational Megachurch
7. They live primarily in California, Texas, Florida, Atlanta, D.C., Colorado, or Arizona suburbs
8. Vehicles driven are usually mid or large SUV's, Suburban's, or hatchbacks
9. Her children are either home schooled or attend a private or charter school
10. Her children are not allowed to watch PG-13 or R-rated movies, play any video games not rated E, play outside unattended, browse the internet without parental controls, or have contact with any adults outside of family, teachers, or coaches
by waspcoloredstain June 14, 2013