sharpshitting
a sporting event which takes place after a large meal
a small group of competitors salvage a toilet, either from personal belongings or from any appliance store
the toilet is then placed in a determined location, whether it be indoors or outdoors (it is allowed to already be installed in a bathroom)
objective:
-shit to earn the most points in a single attempt with a judge panel
rules:
- the competitor may shit from any location, as long as all of the shit lands in the toilet (the inside-walls of the toilet count) (the shit does not need to hit the water, if any)
- no items may be used to aid in the acceleration of the shit, unless it is providing height alone
- tricks such as jumps or spins can add to the score of the shit, but will be scored by the judges out of 100
- height is measured in inches, and for every inch you are vertically from the toilet's mouth you receive 1 point
- distance is also measured in inches, and for every inch you are horizontally from the toilets mouth you receive 5 points
- if you choose to have the seat down, you receive an extra 50 points
- the contestants may have three attempts in a time limit of 10 minutes once the contestant's time has started, if they are able to do so
- the size of the shit grants 10 points per whole golf ball the shit is in length (diameter of one golf ball), although it must be larger than 1 golf ball in mass
- the winner is determined by the most amount of points received in one attempt
a small group of competitors salvage a toilet, either from personal belongings or from any appliance store
the toilet is then placed in a determined location, whether it be indoors or outdoors (it is allowed to already be installed in a bathroom)
objective:
-shit to earn the most points in a single attempt with a judge panel
rules:
- the competitor may shit from any location, as long as all of the shit lands in the toilet (the inside-walls of the toilet count) (the shit does not need to hit the water, if any)
- no items may be used to aid in the acceleration of the shit, unless it is providing height alone
- tricks such as jumps or spins can add to the score of the shit, but will be scored by the judges out of 100
- height is measured in inches, and for every inch you are vertically from the toilet's mouth you receive 1 point
- distance is also measured in inches, and for every inch you are horizontally from the toilets mouth you receive 5 points
- if you choose to have the seat down, you receive an extra 50 points
- the contestants may have three attempts in a time limit of 10 minutes once the contestant's time has started, if they are able to do so
- the size of the shit grants 10 points per whole golf ball the shit is in length (diameter of one golf ball), although it must be larger than 1 golf ball in mass
- the winner is determined by the most amount of points received in one attempt
Joe: "Is Billy alright?"
Tom: "Nah, he's been crying in his room for hours."
Joe: "Why, what happened?"
Tom: "His mom beat him in sharpshitting."
Joe: "Damn, that's rough."
Tom: "Nah, he's been crying in his room for hours."
Joe: "Why, what happened?"
Tom: "His mom beat him in sharpshitting."
Joe: "Damn, that's rough."
sharpshitting by TheReal Carl Brutananadilewski August 31, 2013
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