schrodinger's bootlicker 

Someone who wants a small low budget government but wants the departments responsible for killing and imprisoning people to be as big and costly as possible. Tells people to respect authority and comply with the law but refuses to comply with the law when they can no longer get a haircut. Tells the government not to tread on them but cheers when the government treads on people's right to peacefully protest and cheers again they tread on people's right to getting a safe abortion. Claims that they need to own a mountain of firearms just in case they need to rise up against a tyrannical government but cheers when a tyrannical government starts snatching people off the street.

My uncle complains that big government is treading on his rights because he now has to wear a mask inside of public building and that it's his right to not wear a mask even he has a thin blue line sticker on the back of his pickup but then tells me that black people wouldn't get hurt by law enforcement if they just followed the law. I'd say he is a schrodinger's bootlicker

schrodinger's bootlicker by Redman_121 August 27, 2020

Schrödinger’s Bootlicking

The act of abandoning your own argument to defend the person you were arguing with because you’re intimidated by them and want the conflict to end, blurring the line between appeasement and bootlicking.

Person A: “Dude, you’re wrong.”

Person B: “No, you’re the one who’s wrong.”

Person C: “Honestly, Person B is an idiot.”

Person A: “Whoa, don’t call him an idiot. You’re the problem here. Leave him alone.”

Person C: “Weren’t you just arguing with him?”

Person A: “Yeah… but that’s different.”

Person C: “Nah, that’s Schrödinger’s bootlicking. You switched from arguing with him to defending him because you didn’t want to keep fighting with him.”

Schrödinger’s Bootlicking by ThatGoldFish675 July 8, 2026