The hellish fatinsane demoniod minion of lucifer who terrorizes the world once a year by bringing unspeakable atrocities to our houses!
He will deliver a plague onto your homes and make you suffer the wrath of a thousand guilty souls!
by Dumb Ass August 16, 2004
A morbidly obese child molester who lives in the North Pole and, depending on how attractive he finds you, will either put you on his naughty or nice list. The naughty list is for sexually promiscuous kids and adults who will be fucked by Santa Claus on Christmas, and since he deems them more attractive, he will barge in unannounced and violently rape everyone around him. The nice list, on the other hand, is reserved for sexual illiterates, abstainers, and other children. Since Santa deems these people less attractive, he will simply date rape them by spiking their Christmas treats with sedatives. He also watches everything you do at all times. That includes your showering and masturbation sessions. Whichever list you're put on depends on whether or not Santa thinks your body is attractive. Thus, he will make comments on your body parts (especially your ass and genitals) and record it so he can decide on whether or not you're worth fucking (naughty for attractive, nice for less attractive). He also visits malls regularly during the holiday season so that he can trick children into sitting on his lap, which allows him to grope their asses when they least expect it (or boobs, if they're available). Somehow, the FBI is okay with this.
Jill thought he'd bring her a copy of Disaster Movie, but Santa instead raped her and her son! I gotta call the cops!
by Yopmail User August 23, 2022
dont lie to kidsif you ever see santa coming in through ur chimney just fucking call the police
daughter- dad i just saw santa coming in!
dad- what! stay with me im calling the police
daughter- why dad thats santa!!
mom- santa isnt real someones breaking into our house!!!
by idrk8080 November 6, 2020
A fat guy in red who comes to your house once a year and point at your mother, your sister, your daughter and say: Hoe Hoe Hoe, Merry Chrismas !
Thank you for your kindness Santa.
by TrisaDiamond December 15, 2015
Why does Santa give more presents to rich people, even though there are many other people around the world who can't afford the barest of necessities?
by Dubiks December 7, 2018
The fattest, oldest pimp this side of the north pole.
Santa has three hoes. Damn that's jolly.
by Skin-Nerd July 18, 2005
A creepy old man that breaks into your house on Christmas Eve and steals your cookies and milk. He also is homeless so has to live off of his stolen cookies. He’s never looked in the mirror at his disgusting beard.
Hey look it’s that homeless creep named Santa.

Person 1: Let me turn on my fire in my chimney so that he will die!
Person 2: that’s a great idea!
by -cookiesandmilk- December 16, 2018