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russias history 

A sexual act with a russian man, a russian woman, and a bear where the bear goes bare without a condom or lube and the man uses vodka as lubricant . Whilst they are having sex they all sing the Soviet Union Anthem at once which should then lead to a Vladimir Putin flying down from the Clouds wearing nothing but a Russian flag colored g-string and a trapper hat. Whenever Putin reaches the ground the man, the woman, the bear will all get on their knees and suck his dick and whenever one of them isn't sucking his russian sausage log they are yelling Cyka Blyat. After Putin has finished and came in everyone's mouth he will then back flip approximately 69ft away from them and then it will start raining, but it isn't water its Vodka and they have to bathe and drink it till they get drunk and have a hangover the next morning. Putin will return to his presidential and dictatorial duties.
Guy 1:Hey have you looked up russias history?

Guy 2:no

Guy 1: good
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Russian history lesson 

An anecdote or fact someone tells to make him/herself look like he/she actually knows something. Comes from Star Trek TOS, in which Ensign Pavel Chekov says that basically everything is a "Russian inwention" and why, leading to Kirk, in one episode whilst Sulu is launching into a complicated anecdote about Siberia, to announce that "if he wanted a Russian history lesson, he would have brought Mr. Chekov along".
Me: Oh, look. Flowers.

You: Oh yes, those are crocuses, the only flower that can grow in snow. I have a friend who genetically engineered crocuses and planted them on the moon-

Me: Please spare me the Russian history lesson.

You: (have just been owned)

Russian History 

The worst fucking class on the fucking planet
Russian history isn’t worth the memes it’s just a bad class DONT TAKE IT
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briefcake 

"Did you check out the briefcake in courtroom C?"
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