The act of putting a thumb over the mouth of a bottle of champagne and then agitating it order to bring it to the highest possible pressure. The bottle is then thrust into the anus of an unsuspecting girl (or, preferrably, a sleeping whore), thereby shooting champagne into her rectal cavity violently.

Generally, the finer the whore, the finer the champagne that should be used. In the case of a 4 dollar "ho", malt liquor may be used.

"The recoil from that rude awakening was quite a mess."

- or -

The malt liquor must have fermented in her ass after the rude awakening, because I went to work drunk after that 9 AM rim job.

- or -

"The prostitute wanted to charge me extra after I gave her a rude awakening, but I told her to f' off and left. She couldn't get up without malt liquor leaking out her ass, so she made an un-hasty chase."

- or -

"I rushed my rude awakening and hit the wrong hole. Wouldn't have been so bad if she wasn't on the menses at the time. Let's just say there was cotton and chunks of blood everywhere.

rude awakening by scorpionmintred October 1, 2005

Uncle Wully's Rude Awakening

While sleeping on a futon, next to the bed of your buddy's girlfriend, spew hot garbage from your anus into an oscillating fan. As she awakes from her slumber to the suffocating stench, play possum and keep the giggles to yourself.

After a long day of my buddy's girlfriend badgering, I decided to fall asleep on his futon. This is when I decided to punish her and unleash Uncle Wully's Rude Awakening. She was up for hours.

Uncle Wully's Rude Awakening by The Gerber Gobbler February 26, 2010

Get the Uncle Wully's Rude Awakening mug.

The rude awakening

slap soemone across the face with your penis

last night i give my girlfriend the rude awakening

The rude awakening by jako_and_adam May 15, 2007

Get the The rude awakening mug.

Rude Awokening

When someone gets roasted on social media or fired for saying the wrong thing and offending some snowflakes

Joe just got fired for telling a something phobic joke..
He got a rude awokening

Rude Awokening by the canceledone June 12, 2023

Get the Rude Awokening mug.

sexspan

The number of years you are still sexually active

While our lifespan is the number of years we will live, our healthspan is the number of healthy years we will have and our sexspan is is the number of years we will continue to be healthy enough to continue having an active sex life.

sexspan by Dr Kat April 21, 2022

Word of the Day on October 28, 2026

Get the sexspan mug.

womp

A lighthearted reaction upon receiving disappointing news of some sort. Usually something that isn't a particularly a big deal, esp. when it primarily affects someone else - sort of a mild schadenfreude. Sometimes doubled or tripled, and possibly said in a sing-songy voice for added comedic effect to imitate a muted trumpet, which is how the meme originated.

You didn't get any napkins with your takeout pork fried rice? Womp womp.

womp by 175623226 November 3, 2011

Word of the Day on October 27, 2026