24 definitions by scorpionmintred

A pornographic sub-genre similar to cake farts wherein a person blows their nose into the open anus of another person. While the method of sexual gratification is unclear, it provides great humor to those involved.
"The asskerchief is an inefficient way to clear one's nasal passages."

- or -

Man: "I asked my wife if I could asskerchief her, like I saw on the internet."

Friend: "What did she say?"

Man: "She laughed at me and filed for divorce."

Friend: "That seems excessive."

Man: "Well I'm also a terrible husband."

- or -

Man: "I searched for asskerchief and then promptly decided to go back to normal porn."

Friend: "Normal?"

Man: "Well... MORE normal."
by scorpionmintred March 13, 2019
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1. Angry cow. (Possibly see your mom).

2. BSE; Rots the brains of cows and jerks who eat cow brains. (Possibly see Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom. Or was that monkey brains? Whatever, it's feking weird anyway).

3. Giant lesbian who thinks she's hot. When you yank on her quadruple D breasts, she does not notice it because they're dragging on the floor already. But for some reason, skinny hot lesbians find her attractive, but she is mad because men still exist, and her vagina cannot be found by said skinny hot lesbian. If you are a man, she will not appreciate you existing.
Your mom might be mad cow type one, but she can't be mad cow type two unless your dad had sex with a straight woman who carried you to term. Unless you are a girl, then your mom may be touching you when you're asleep, on the boobies, perhaps.
by scorpionmintred December 30, 2004
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A pump consisting of a screw within a cylinder. When the screw is turned, water is moved from one end to the other.

-- or --

When Archimedes has sex with his wife.

-- or --

When you yell 'eureka' upon ejaculating.

-- or --

An ancient invention that can be used in the vagina to evacuate excess menses.
In an incredibly archane reference to an ancient invention, a sexual double entendre is achieved.
by scorpionmintred November 19, 2004
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The anus of a man infected with HIV.
He rode the HIV Lane on the Hershey Highway all night long and then died five years later.
by scorpionmintred December 28, 2004
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When Picasso painted all these random people made of cubes.


When a woman's period comes out like chunks of ham from a soup.
Picasso's Friend: "Damn Picasso, why can't you paint people like normal? I hope they invent high-quality photographs soon."


Picasso: "Damn Wife, your cubic menstruations have inspired me to paint incorrect pictures of people."


German Man: "Damn Wife, I thought your sheizer was tasty, but this soup is the best!"


Woman: "Damn I thought that soup was good, but whatever is coming out of my twat is downright fabulous."
by scorpionmintred March 24, 2004
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After going down on a woman with unfortunate menses, the area around your mouth will be red, like a clown's.
Woman: "I am now afraid of clowns because after going down on me you had a clown moustache."
by scorpionmintred December 28, 2004
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For some reason, women have invented a rediculous notion! They think that scraping their feet with a sand-paper like paddle to remove dead skin is a good idea.

In actuality, unless you have a giant foot fetish, it is the most disgusting noise you have ever heard, and it leaves a giant pile of dead skin scrapings all over your stuff.

Someone with a foot fetish may enjoy snorting this residue as if it were cocaine.
Amanda, get that foot snow the hell away from me!
by scorpionmintred December 28, 2004
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