scorpionmintred's definitions
by scorpionmintred December 28, 2003
Get the Count Von Pennies mug.1. (n.) The ape whom once conquered hot-air-ballooning, as only man had previously done.
2. (v.) The act of, upon ejaculating into a woman of ill-repute, jamming as many bananas as possible into her vagina. The man then whips out a spoon, takes a scoop, and offers the woman a serving of the mashed bananas. She then declines, and runs from the room screaming. The man then consumes the spoonful, takes his briefcase, and leaves.
2. (v.) The act of, upon ejaculating into a woman of ill-repute, jamming as many bananas as possible into her vagina. The man then whips out a spoon, takes a scoop, and offers the woman a serving of the mashed bananas. She then declines, and runs from the room screaming. The man then consumes the spoonful, takes his briefcase, and leaves.
"God Bless that Ape Wellington for showing us all that extremely boring balloon flight is possible!"
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Friend: "Do you smell bananas?"
Woman: "No."
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Woman: "Have you found the problem?"
OBGYN: "No, but this here is delicious."
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Tickles Brick Tickles: "Honey! Come back! I thought you would enjoy it!"
Woman: "Why?"
Tickles Brick Tickles: "At least your twat doesn't smell like fish."
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Ape: "Wunhh wunhh wooo wooo!"
Woman (to self): "O, why did I ever have sex with an ape? He has no idea what goes where!"
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Friend: "Do you smell bananas?"
Woman: "No."
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Woman: "Have you found the problem?"
OBGYN: "No, but this here is delicious."
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Tickles Brick Tickles: "Honey! Come back! I thought you would enjoy it!"
Woman: "Why?"
Tickles Brick Tickles: "At least your twat doesn't smell like fish."
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Ape: "Wunhh wunhh wooo wooo!"
Woman (to self): "O, why did I ever have sex with an ape? He has no idea what goes where!"
by scorpionmintred February 27, 2009
Get the Ape Wellington mug.1. Angry cow. (Possibly see your mom).
2. BSE; Rots the brains of cows and jerks who eat cow brains. (Possibly see Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom. Or was that monkey brains? Whatever, it's feking weird anyway).
3. Giant lesbian who thinks she's hot. When you yank on her quadruple D breasts, she does not notice it because they're dragging on the floor already. But for some reason, skinny hot lesbians find her attractive, but she is mad because men still exist, and her vagina cannot be found by said skinny hot lesbian. If you are a man, she will not appreciate you existing.
2. BSE; Rots the brains of cows and jerks who eat cow brains. (Possibly see Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom. Or was that monkey brains? Whatever, it's feking weird anyway).
3. Giant lesbian who thinks she's hot. When you yank on her quadruple D breasts, she does not notice it because they're dragging on the floor already. But for some reason, skinny hot lesbians find her attractive, but she is mad because men still exist, and her vagina cannot be found by said skinny hot lesbian. If you are a man, she will not appreciate you existing.
Your mom might be mad cow type one, but she can't be mad cow type two unless your dad had sex with a straight woman who carried you to term. Unless you are a girl, then your mom may be touching you when you're asleep, on the boobies, perhaps.
by scorpionmintred December 30, 2003
Get the mad cow mug.The act of putting a thumb over the mouth of a bottle of champagne and then agitating it order to bring it to the highest possible pressure. The bottle is then thrust into the anus of an unsuspecting girl (or, preferrably, a sleeping whore), thereby shooting champagne into her rectal cavity violently.
Generally, the finer the whore, the finer the champagne that should be used. In the case of a 4 dollar "ho", malt liquor may be used.
Generally, the finer the whore, the finer the champagne that should be used. In the case of a 4 dollar "ho", malt liquor may be used.
"The recoil from that rude awakening was quite a mess."
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The malt liquor must have fermented in her ass after the rude awakening, because I went to work drunk after that 9 AM rim job.
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"The prostitute wanted to charge me extra after I gave her a rude awakening, but I told her to f' off and left. She couldn't get up without malt liquor leaking out her ass, so she made an un-hasty chase."
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"I rushed my rude awakening and hit the wrong hole. Wouldn't have been so bad if she wasn't on the menses at the time. Let's just say there was cotton and chunks of blood everywhere.
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The malt liquor must have fermented in her ass after the rude awakening, because I went to work drunk after that 9 AM rim job.
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"The prostitute wanted to charge me extra after I gave her a rude awakening, but I told her to f' off and left. She couldn't get up without malt liquor leaking out her ass, so she made an un-hasty chase."
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"I rushed my rude awakening and hit the wrong hole. Wouldn't have been so bad if she wasn't on the menses at the time. Let's just say there was cotton and chunks of blood everywhere.
by scorpionmintred October 1, 2005
Get the rude awakening mug.1. When a woman's period begins at an inopportune time.
2. When a woman's period blood comes out all clotted and chunky, and a man observes it.
3. When a woman's vagina bleeds, and somehow the blood gets on your mother.
2. When a woman's period blood comes out all clotted and chunky, and a man observes it.
3. When a woman's vagina bleeds, and somehow the blood gets on your mother.
1. I was going down on that bitch when suddenly instead of pussy juices, blood started gushing all over my face giving me a clown moustache. That's some unfortunate menses.
2. That meatball stew was some unfortunate menses.
3. My mother hates unfortunate menses, but your mom loves it.
2. That meatball stew was some unfortunate menses.
3. My mother hates unfortunate menses, but your mom loves it.
by scorpionmintred December 28, 2003
Get the unfortunate menses mug.1. The feces a monkey exudes.
2. The feces your mom exudes.
3. The act of throwing feces at your nemesis, or simply someone who disagrees with you.
2. The feces your mom exudes.
3. The act of throwing feces at your nemesis, or simply someone who disagrees with you.
Boss: "You should work overtime this weekend."
Worker: {Poops in underwear.}
Boss: "What is that smell?"
Worker: {Throws poop at boss.} "You."
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Man: "Give me head now, woman!"
Woman: "No, I am on the rag, and I am a giant bitch. I may as well be a lesbian."
Man: {Poops his bed.}
Woman: "Why did you just poop the bed?"
Man: {Throws feces at woman.} "Give me head."
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Supermarket Clerk: "Why are you buying so many tampons?"
Bag Boy: "Seriously, are you on the rag or what?"
Menstruating Woman: {Lifts skirt and sprays diarrhea while rotating.} "Yes."
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Lesbian 1: "Why is my fist covered in poop?"
Lesbian 2: "Wrong hole."
Worker: {Poops in underwear.}
Boss: "What is that smell?"
Worker: {Throws poop at boss.} "You."
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Man: "Give me head now, woman!"
Woman: "No, I am on the rag, and I am a giant bitch. I may as well be a lesbian."
Man: {Poops his bed.}
Woman: "Why did you just poop the bed?"
Man: {Throws feces at woman.} "Give me head."
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Supermarket Clerk: "Why are you buying so many tampons?"
Bag Boy: "Seriously, are you on the rag or what?"
Menstruating Woman: {Lifts skirt and sprays diarrhea while rotating.} "Yes."
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Lesbian 1: "Why is my fist covered in poop?"
Lesbian 2: "Wrong hole."
by scorpionmintred December 30, 2003
Get the monkey poop mug.1. (n.) A man who presumably flew planes in a fine manner in World War One.
2. (n.) A crap pizza that many school children eat because their parents are too poor.
3. (v.) The act of donning a monocle before sexual congress with a woman who is having her menses. Traditionally, a small yet stylish moustache should be worn as well. The man inflates his chest and walks to the bed with the bearing of a proper gentleman. He then dips at least two fingers into the waiting woman's blood-filled snatch, finger-painting the German cross onto his chest.
The true connoisseur of this maneuver will keep the monocle in his eye until reaching sexual release.
2. (n.) A crap pizza that many school children eat because their parents are too poor.
3. (v.) The act of donning a monocle before sexual congress with a woman who is having her menses. Traditionally, a small yet stylish moustache should be worn as well. The man inflates his chest and walks to the bed with the bearing of a proper gentleman. He then dips at least two fingers into the waiting woman's blood-filled snatch, finger-painting the German cross onto his chest.
The true connoisseur of this maneuver will keep the monocle in his eye until reaching sexual release.
"The Red Baron shot down a bunch of planes once. It is very 'urban' of me to define this term in a serious fashion. I will now ride the subway and watch the History Channel."
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"This Red Baron pizza is flavorful. Unfortunately the flavor is crap."
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"I was about to give this woman the Red Baron last night, however when she saw my monocle she got dressed and fled in a hasty manner. So I put on my robe and wizard's hat."
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"She died when I came and she inhaled my falling monocle."
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"I attempted the Red Baron last night, but she wasn't on the rag. I ended up using some poor man's menses to finish."
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"This Red Baron pizza is flavorful. Unfortunately the flavor is crap."
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"I was about to give this woman the Red Baron last night, however when she saw my monocle she got dressed and fled in a hasty manner. So I put on my robe and wizard's hat."
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"She died when I came and she inhaled my falling monocle."
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"I attempted the Red Baron last night, but she wasn't on the rag. I ended up using some poor man's menses to finish."
by scorpionmintred February 14, 2007
Get the Red Baron mug.