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scorpionmintred's definitions

Grinding the Corn

When you put corn in a woman's vagina and grind it as with a mortar and pestle, except in this case it is her pussy and your cock.

You must be wary that corn doesn't get wedged around the head of your penis as it does in your teeth after you eat it.

By going down on your woman afterwards, it gives a whole new meaning to "creamed corn".
Little did anyone at the thanksgiving table know, but the creamed corn was made by grinding the corn in my girlfriend's twat just earlier.
by scorpionmintred August 15, 2004
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ass crayon

When a woman is passed out, either from her own actions or by way of your rufies, the act of fucking her in the ass wildly and then drawing doodles on her sheets using your feces-stained penis.

These actions may be repeated until said drawing is complete.
That passed out bitch didn't appreciate that I ass crayoned her bed.
- or -
I have a wicked yeast infection in my foreskin from using my ass crayon too much.
by scorpionmintred December 28, 2003
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rude awakening

The act of putting a thumb over the mouth of a bottle of champagne and then agitating it order to bring it to the highest possible pressure. The bottle is then thrust into the anus of an unsuspecting girl (or, preferrably, a sleeping whore), thereby shooting champagne into her rectal cavity violently.

Generally, the finer the whore, the finer the champagne that should be used. In the case of a 4 dollar "ho", malt liquor may be used.
"The recoil from that rude awakening was quite a mess."

- or -

The malt liquor must have fermented in her ass after the rude awakening, because I went to work drunk after that 9 AM rim job.

- or -

"The prostitute wanted to charge me extra after I gave her a rude awakening, but I told her to f' off and left. She couldn't get up without malt liquor leaking out her ass, so she made an un-hasty chase."

- or -

"I rushed my rude awakening and hit the wrong hole. Wouldn't have been so bad if she wasn't on the menses at the time. Let's just say there was cotton and chunks of blood everywhere.
by scorpionmintred October 1, 2005
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Red Baron

1. (n.) A man who presumably flew planes in a fine manner in World War One.

2. (n.) A crap pizza that many school children eat because their parents are too poor.

3. (v.) The act of donning a monocle before sexual congress with a woman who is having her menses. Traditionally, a small yet stylish moustache should be worn as well. The man inflates his chest and walks to the bed with the bearing of a proper gentleman. He then dips at least two fingers into the waiting woman's blood-filled snatch, finger-painting the German cross onto his chest.

The true connoisseur of this maneuver will keep the monocle in his eye until reaching sexual release.
"The Red Baron shot down a bunch of planes once. It is very 'urban' of me to define this term in a serious fashion. I will now ride the subway and watch the History Channel."

- or -

"This Red Baron pizza is flavorful. Unfortunately the flavor is crap."

- or -

"I was about to give this woman the Red Baron last night, however when she saw my monocle she got dressed and fled in a hasty manner. So I put on my robe and wizard's hat."

- or -

"She died when I came and she inhaled my falling monocle."

- or -

"I attempted the Red Baron last night, but she wasn't on the rag. I ended up using some poor man's menses to finish."
by scorpionmintred February 14, 2007
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monkey poop

1. The feces a monkey exudes.
2. The feces your mom exudes.
3. The act of throwing feces at your nemesis, or simply someone who disagrees with you.
Boss: "You should work overtime this weekend."
Worker: {Poops in underwear.}
Boss: "What is that smell?"
Worker: {Throws poop at boss.} "You."

- or -

Man: "Give me head now, woman!"
Woman: "No, I am on the rag, and I am a giant bitch. I may as well be a lesbian."
Man: {Poops his bed.}
Woman: "Why did you just poop the bed?"
Man: {Throws feces at woman.} "Give me head."

- or -

Supermarket Clerk: "Why are you buying so many tampons?"
Bag Boy: "Seriously, are you on the rag or what?"
Menstruating Woman: {Lifts skirt and sprays diarrhea while rotating.} "Yes."

- or -

Lesbian 1: "Why is my fist covered in poop?"
Lesbian 2: "Wrong hole."
by scorpionmintred December 30, 2003
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clown moustache

After going down on a woman with unfortunate menses, the area around your mouth will be red, like a clown's.
Woman: "I am now afraid of clowns because after going down on me you had a clown moustache."
by scorpionmintred December 28, 2003
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archimedes screw

A pump consisting of a screw within a cylinder. When the screw is turned, water is moved from one end to the other.

-- or --

When Archimedes has sex with his wife.

-- or --

When you yell 'eureka' upon ejaculating.

-- or --

An ancient invention that can be used in the vagina to evacuate excess menses.
In an incredibly archane reference to an ancient invention, a sexual double entendre is achieved.
by scorpionmintred November 19, 2004
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