scorpionmintred's definitions
1. A tax-exempt corporation with the facade of a "bona-fide" religion created by L. Ron Hubbard as a way to make money when his "better-than-psychology" clinics failed to do so in the 1950s.
2. The act of engaging in sexual intercourse with a piece of scientific equipment, such as a microscope.
3. A sexual act whereby a man reads a science textbook to a woman who then becomes bored. When she inevitably falls asleep, the man hits her over the head with the textbook, yelling "science!" He then takes off her top and studies her breasts whilst masturbating. Upon completion, he jisms into the open textbook, smears his essence all over the open pages, and sticks the textbook to the woman's face. He may then, at his option, invite people over to "study" with her, thereby causing her severe embarrassment when she comes to.
2. The act of engaging in sexual intercourse with a piece of scientific equipment, such as a microscope.
3. A sexual act whereby a man reads a science textbook to a woman who then becomes bored. When she inevitably falls asleep, the man hits her over the head with the textbook, yelling "science!" He then takes off her top and studies her breasts whilst masturbating. Upon completion, he jisms into the open textbook, smears his essence all over the open pages, and sticks the textbook to the woman's face. He may then, at his option, invite people over to "study" with her, thereby causing her severe embarrassment when she comes to.
1. Scientology Auditor: "Hey, you, man walking down the street that appears to have better things to do! Yes, you! Would you like to be audited such that we can eventually remove your Thetans after charging you thousands of dollars for brainwashing?"
Man: "No."
2. Woman: "Oh yeah baby, adjust that coarse focus knob!"
3. Girl's Roommate: "Damn, were you up all night studying again?"
Girl: (Just coming to) "Ugh, what time is it?"
Girl's Roommate: "What, I can't hear you with that textbook on your face. And why does my microscope smell?"
Girl: (Rips the book off, but the inner pages stick to her face) "I have no idea, but I must have been sitting down too long because my ass hurts".
Man: "No."
2. Woman: "Oh yeah baby, adjust that coarse focus knob!"
3. Girl's Roommate: "Damn, were you up all night studying again?"
Girl: (Just coming to) "Ugh, what time is it?"
Girl's Roommate: "What, I can't hear you with that textbook on your face. And why does my microscope smell?"
Girl: (Rips the book off, but the inner pages stick to her face) "I have no idea, but I must have been sitting down too long because my ass hurts".
by scorpionmintred February 17, 2010
Get the scientology mug.When Picasso painted all these random people made of cubes.
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When a woman's period comes out like chunks of ham from a soup.
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When a woman's period comes out like chunks of ham from a soup.
Picasso's Friend: "Damn Picasso, why can't you paint people like normal? I hope they invent high-quality photographs soon."
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Picasso: "Damn Wife, your cubic menstruations have inspired me to paint incorrect pictures of people."
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German Man: "Damn Wife, I thought your sheizer was tasty, but this soup is the best!"
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Woman: "Damn I thought that soup was good, but whatever is coming out of my twat is downright fabulous."
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Picasso: "Damn Wife, your cubic menstruations have inspired me to paint incorrect pictures of people."
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German Man: "Damn Wife, I thought your sheizer was tasty, but this soup is the best!"
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Woman: "Damn I thought that soup was good, but whatever is coming out of my twat is downright fabulous."
by scorpionmintred March 23, 2004
Get the Cubist Period mug.After going down on a woman with unfortunate menses, the area around your mouth will be red, like a clown's.
by scorpionmintred December 28, 2003
Get the clown moustache mug.A superhero born in North Pussyville, descended from the clan of Wettingwetwet.
Superpowers include: Hiding, Becoming Erect (similar to Penis Power), Pussy Gushing.
Nemises include: Confused Virgin, Angry Lesbian, and Africa.
Superfriends include: Loose Labia, Generous G-Spot, Vindictive Vulva, Vivacious Vibrator.
Favorite movies: Can't watch movies at cause of being stuffed in underpants all day.
Least favorite smell: Itself, when not washed for long periods of time.
Lease favorite crust: Dried menses.
Superpowers include: Hiding, Becoming Erect (similar to Penis Power), Pussy Gushing.
Nemises include: Confused Virgin, Angry Lesbian, and Africa.
Superfriends include: Loose Labia, Generous G-Spot, Vindictive Vulva, Vivacious Vibrator.
Favorite movies: Can't watch movies at cause of being stuffed in underpants all day.
Least favorite smell: Itself, when not washed for long periods of time.
Lease favorite crust: Dried menses.
by scorpionmintred December 28, 2003
Get the Danger Clit mug.A pump consisting of a screw within a cylinder. When the screw is turned, water is moved from one end to the other.
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When Archimedes has sex with his wife.
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When you yell 'eureka' upon ejaculating.
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An ancient invention that can be used in the vagina to evacuate excess menses.
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When Archimedes has sex with his wife.
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When you yell 'eureka' upon ejaculating.
-- or --
An ancient invention that can be used in the vagina to evacuate excess menses.
by scorpionmintred November 19, 2004
Get the archimedes screw mug.The act of ejaculating on a woman's face -- via either wild masturbation or a priceless blow job -- and then using your cock to rub jism around the woman's eye as if applying eyeliner.
The woman is then ready for a fanstastic night on the town! All that remains is for you to put on her dirty sanchez disguise!
The woman is then ready for a fanstastic night on the town! All that remains is for you to put on her dirty sanchez disguise!
by scorpionmintred December 28, 2003
Get the white eyeliner mug.The act of putting a thumb over the mouth of a bottle of champagne and then agitating it order to bring it to the highest possible pressure. The bottle is then thrust into the anus of an unsuspecting girl (or, preferrably, a sleeping whore), thereby shooting champagne into her rectal cavity violently.
Generally, the finer the whore, the finer the champagne that should be used. In the case of a 4 dollar "ho", malt liquor may be used.
Generally, the finer the whore, the finer the champagne that should be used. In the case of a 4 dollar "ho", malt liquor may be used.
"The recoil from that rude awakening was quite a mess."
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The malt liquor must have fermented in her ass after the rude awakening, because I went to work drunk after that 9 AM rim job.
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"The prostitute wanted to charge me extra after I gave her a rude awakening, but I told her to f' off and left. She couldn't get up without malt liquor leaking out her ass, so she made an un-hasty chase."
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"I rushed my rude awakening and hit the wrong hole. Wouldn't have been so bad if she wasn't on the menses at the time. Let's just say there was cotton and chunks of blood everywhere.
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The malt liquor must have fermented in her ass after the rude awakening, because I went to work drunk after that 9 AM rim job.
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"The prostitute wanted to charge me extra after I gave her a rude awakening, but I told her to f' off and left. She couldn't get up without malt liquor leaking out her ass, so she made an un-hasty chase."
- or -
"I rushed my rude awakening and hit the wrong hole. Wouldn't have been so bad if she wasn't on the menses at the time. Let's just say there was cotton and chunks of blood everywhere.
by scorpionmintred October 1, 2005
Get the rude awakening mug.