1. When a woman's period begins at an inopportune time.
2. When a woman's period blood comes out all clotted and chunky, and a man observes it.
3. When a woman's vagina bleeds, and somehow the blood gets on your mother.
2. When a woman's period blood comes out all clotted and chunky, and a man observes it.
3. When a woman's vagina bleeds, and somehow the blood gets on your mother.
1. I was going down on that bitch when suddenly instead of pussy juices, blood started gushing all over my face giving me a clown moustache. That's some unfortunate menses.
2. That meatball stew was some unfortunate menses.
3. My mother hates unfortunate menses, but your mom loves it.
2. That meatball stew was some unfortunate menses.
3. My mother hates unfortunate menses, but your mom loves it.
by scorpionmintred December 28, 2003
Get the unfortunate mensesmug. When Picasso painted all these random people made of cubes.
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When a woman's period comes out like chunks of ham from a soup.
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When a woman's period comes out like chunks of ham from a soup.
Picasso's Friend: "Damn Picasso, why can't you paint people like normal? I hope they invent high-quality photographs soon."
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Picasso: "Damn Wife, your cubic menstruations have inspired me to paint incorrect pictures of people."
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German Man: "Damn Wife, I thought your sheizer was tasty, but this soup is the best!"
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Woman: "Damn I thought that soup was good, but whatever is coming out of my twat is downright fabulous."
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Picasso: "Damn Wife, your cubic menstruations have inspired me to paint incorrect pictures of people."
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German Man: "Damn Wife, I thought your sheizer was tasty, but this soup is the best!"
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Woman: "Damn I thought that soup was good, but whatever is coming out of my twat is downright fabulous."
by scorpionmintred March 23, 2004
Get the Cubist Periodmug. 1. A tax-exempt corporation with the facade of a "bona-fide" religion created by L. Ron Hubbard as a way to make money when his "better-than-psychology" clinics failed to do so in the 1950s.
2. The act of engaging in sexual intercourse with a piece of scientific equipment, such as a microscope.
3. A sexual act whereby a man reads a science textbook to a woman who then becomes bored. When she inevitably falls asleep, the man hits her over the head with the textbook, yelling "science!" He then takes off her top and studies her breasts whilst masturbating. Upon completion, he jisms into the open textbook, smears his essence all over the open pages, and sticks the textbook to the woman's face. He may then, at his option, invite people over to "study" with her, thereby causing her severe embarrassment when she comes to.
2. The act of engaging in sexual intercourse with a piece of scientific equipment, such as a microscope.
3. A sexual act whereby a man reads a science textbook to a woman who then becomes bored. When she inevitably falls asleep, the man hits her over the head with the textbook, yelling "science!" He then takes off her top and studies her breasts whilst masturbating. Upon completion, he jisms into the open textbook, smears his essence all over the open pages, and sticks the textbook to the woman's face. He may then, at his option, invite people over to "study" with her, thereby causing her severe embarrassment when she comes to.
1. Scientology Auditor: "Hey, you, man walking down the street that appears to have better things to do! Yes, you! Would you like to be audited such that we can eventually remove your Thetans after charging you thousands of dollars for brainwashing?"
Man: "No."
2. Woman: "Oh yeah baby, adjust that coarse focus knob!"
3. Girl's Roommate: "Damn, were you up all night studying again?"
Girl: (Just coming to) "Ugh, what time is it?"
Girl's Roommate: "What, I can't hear you with that textbook on your face. And why does my microscope smell?"
Girl: (Rips the book off, but the inner pages stick to her face) "I have no idea, but I must have been sitting down too long because my ass hurts".
Man: "No."
2. Woman: "Oh yeah baby, adjust that coarse focus knob!"
3. Girl's Roommate: "Damn, were you up all night studying again?"
Girl: (Just coming to) "Ugh, what time is it?"
Girl's Roommate: "What, I can't hear you with that textbook on your face. And why does my microscope smell?"
Girl: (Rips the book off, but the inner pages stick to her face) "I have no idea, but I must have been sitting down too long because my ass hurts".
by scorpionmintred February 17, 2010
Get the scientologymug. 1. (n.) A man who presumably flew planes in a fine manner in World War One.
2. (n.) A crap pizza that many school children eat because their parents are too poor.
3. (v.) The act of donning a monocle before sexual congress with a woman who is having her menses. Traditionally, a small yet stylish moustache should be worn as well. The man inflates his chest and walks to the bed with the bearing of a proper gentleman. He then dips at least two fingers into the waiting woman's blood-filled snatch, finger-painting the German cross onto his chest.
The true connoisseur of this maneuver will keep the monocle in his eye until reaching sexual release.
2. (n.) A crap pizza that many school children eat because their parents are too poor.
3. (v.) The act of donning a monocle before sexual congress with a woman who is having her menses. Traditionally, a small yet stylish moustache should be worn as well. The man inflates his chest and walks to the bed with the bearing of a proper gentleman. He then dips at least two fingers into the waiting woman's blood-filled snatch, finger-painting the German cross onto his chest.
The true connoisseur of this maneuver will keep the monocle in his eye until reaching sexual release.
"The Red Baron shot down a bunch of planes once. It is very 'urban' of me to define this term in a serious fashion. I will now ride the subway and watch the History Channel."
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"This Red Baron pizza is flavorful. Unfortunately the flavor is crap."
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"I was about to give this woman the Red Baron last night, however when she saw my monocle she got dressed and fled in a hasty manner. So I put on my robe and wizard's hat."
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"She died when I came and she inhaled my falling monocle."
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"I attempted the Red Baron last night, but she wasn't on the rag. I ended up using some poor man's menses to finish."
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"This Red Baron pizza is flavorful. Unfortunately the flavor is crap."
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"I was about to give this woman the Red Baron last night, however when she saw my monocle she got dressed and fled in a hasty manner. So I put on my robe and wizard's hat."
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"She died when I came and she inhaled my falling monocle."
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"I attempted the Red Baron last night, but she wasn't on the rag. I ended up using some poor man's menses to finish."
by scorpionmintred February 14, 2007
Get the Red Baronmug. 1. The feces a monkey exudes.
2. The feces your mom exudes.
3. The act of throwing feces at your nemesis, or simply someone who disagrees with you.
2. The feces your mom exudes.
3. The act of throwing feces at your nemesis, or simply someone who disagrees with you.
Boss: "You should work overtime this weekend."
Worker: {Poops in underwear.}
Boss: "What is that smell?"
Worker: {Throws poop at boss.} "You."
- or -
Man: "Give me head now, woman!"
Woman: "No, I am on the rag, and I am a giant bitch. I may as well be a lesbian."
Man: {Poops his bed.}
Woman: "Why did you just poop the bed?"
Man: {Throws feces at woman.} "Give me head."
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Supermarket Clerk: "Why are you buying so many tampons?"
Bag Boy: "Seriously, are you on the rag or what?"
Menstruating Woman: {Lifts skirt and sprays diarrhea while rotating.} "Yes."
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Lesbian 1: "Why is my fist covered in poop?"
Lesbian 2: "Wrong hole."
Worker: {Poops in underwear.}
Boss: "What is that smell?"
Worker: {Throws poop at boss.} "You."
- or -
Man: "Give me head now, woman!"
Woman: "No, I am on the rag, and I am a giant bitch. I may as well be a lesbian."
Man: {Poops his bed.}
Woman: "Why did you just poop the bed?"
Man: {Throws feces at woman.} "Give me head."
- or -
Supermarket Clerk: "Why are you buying so many tampons?"
Bag Boy: "Seriously, are you on the rag or what?"
Menstruating Woman: {Lifts skirt and sprays diarrhea while rotating.} "Yes."
- or -
Lesbian 1: "Why is my fist covered in poop?"
Lesbian 2: "Wrong hole."
by scorpionmintred December 30, 2003
Get the monkey poopmug. The act of putting a thumb over the mouth of a bottle of champagne and then agitating it order to bring it to the highest possible pressure. The bottle is then thrust into the anus of an unsuspecting girl (or, preferrably, a sleeping whore), thereby shooting champagne into her rectal cavity violently.
Generally, the finer the whore, the finer the champagne that should be used. In the case of a 4 dollar "ho", malt liquor may be used.
Generally, the finer the whore, the finer the champagne that should be used. In the case of a 4 dollar "ho", malt liquor may be used.
"The recoil from that rude awakening was quite a mess."
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The malt liquor must have fermented in her ass after the rude awakening, because I went to work drunk after that 9 AM rim job.
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"The prostitute wanted to charge me extra after I gave her a rude awakening, but I told her to f' off and left. She couldn't get up without malt liquor leaking out her ass, so she made an un-hasty chase."
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"I rushed my rude awakening and hit the wrong hole. Wouldn't have been so bad if she wasn't on the menses at the time. Let's just say there was cotton and chunks of blood everywhere.
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The malt liquor must have fermented in her ass after the rude awakening, because I went to work drunk after that 9 AM rim job.
- or -
"The prostitute wanted to charge me extra after I gave her a rude awakening, but I told her to f' off and left. She couldn't get up without malt liquor leaking out her ass, so she made an un-hasty chase."
- or -
"I rushed my rude awakening and hit the wrong hole. Wouldn't have been so bad if she wasn't on the menses at the time. Let's just say there was cotton and chunks of blood everywhere.
by scorpionmintred October 01, 2005
Get the rude awakeningmug. When you put corn in a woman's vagina and grind it as with a mortar and pestle, except in this case it is her pussy and your cock.
You must be wary that corn doesn't get wedged around the head of your penis as it does in your teeth after you eat it.
By going down on your woman afterwards, it gives a whole new meaning to "creamed corn".
You must be wary that corn doesn't get wedged around the head of your penis as it does in your teeth after you eat it.
By going down on your woman afterwards, it gives a whole new meaning to "creamed corn".
Little did anyone at the thanksgiving table know, but the creamed corn was made by grinding the corn in my girlfriend's twat just earlier.
by scorpionmintred August 15, 2004
Get the Grinding the Cornmug.