scorpionmintred's definitions

clown moustache

After going down on a woman with unfortunate menses, the area around your mouth will be red, like a clown's.

Woman: "I am now afraid of clowns because after going down on me you had a clown moustache."

by scorpionmintred December 28, 2003

Cubist Period

When Picasso painted all these random people made of cubes.

-also-

When a woman's period comes out like chunks of ham from a soup.

Picasso's Friend: "Damn Picasso, why can't you paint people like normal? I hope they invent high-quality photographs soon."

-or-

Picasso: "Damn Wife, your cubic menstruations have inspired me to paint incorrect pictures of people."

-or-

German Man: "Damn Wife, I thought your sheizer was tasty, but this soup is the best!"

-or-

Woman: "Damn I thought that soup was good, but whatever is coming out of my twat is downright fabulous."

by scorpionmintred March 23, 2004

scientology

1. A tax-exempt corporation with the facade of a "bona-fide" religion created by L. Ron Hubbard as a way to make money when his "better-than-psychology" clinics failed to do so in the 1950s.

2. The act of engaging in sexual intercourse with a piece of scientific equipment, such as a microscope.

3. A sexual act whereby a man reads a science textbook to a woman who then becomes bored. When she inevitably falls asleep, the man hits her over the head with the textbook, yelling "science!" He then takes off her top and studies her breasts whilst masturbating. Upon completion, he jisms into the open textbook, smears his essence all over the open pages, and sticks the textbook to the woman's face. He may then, at his option, invite people over to "study" with her, thereby causing her severe embarrassment when she comes to.

1. Scientology Auditor: "Hey, you, man walking down the street that appears to have better things to do! Yes, you! Would you like to be audited such that we can eventually remove your Thetans after charging you thousands of dollars for brainwashing?"

Man: "No."

2. Woman: "Oh yeah baby, adjust that coarse focus knob!"

3. Girl's Roommate: "Damn, were you up all night studying again?"

Girl: (Just coming to) "Ugh, what time is it?"

Girl's Roommate: "What, I can't hear you with that textbook on your face. And why does my microscope smell?"

Girl: (Rips the book off, but the inner pages stick to her face) "I have no idea, but I must have been sitting down too long because my ass hurts".

by scorpionmintred February 17, 2010

Count Von Pennies

A proper noun used in place of calling someone "Jewish" for being cheap.

Sarcasm Master: "Why don't you spring for the large fries, Count Von Pennies?"

by scorpionmintred December 28, 2003

HIV Lane

The anus of a man infected with HIV.

He rode the HIV Lane on the Hershey Highway all night long and then died five years later.

by scorpionmintred December 28, 2003

slanty snatch

The vagina of an asian woman. Especially a chinese woman.

Her slanty snatch looked normal to all other chinese people because their eyes are slanted in the opposite direction.

by scorpionmintred December 28, 2003

Easter Basket

General term for all of the parts of a woman related to the storage and dispersal of eggs, including the ovaries, uterus, and vagina.

Woman: "Ow! That bitch just kicked me right in the Easter Basket!"

- or -

Art Critic: "Damn, Picasso, I've never before seen a square Easter Basket".

- or -

OBGYN: "I haven't seen an Easter Basket this messed up since my mom got the egg dye mixed up with the pancake batter".

- or -

ER Doctor: (Removing fragments of chicken-egg shells from inside a woman's vagina) "You really aren't clear on the concept, are you?"

by scorpionmintred February 17, 2010