Skip to main content

razor blade blowjob 

The rare term in an ER only.
Of how a young man usually between the ages of 16 to 27 will come in with damaged tissue on his penis. For the very specific reason of his girlfriend with braces. damaging his penis tissue, foreskin, ECT with a very poorly executed blowjob.
Very true this happens.
I have had 8 cases in my entire career in emergency care.
But funniest was when a young man about 17 comes in and he has a hoodie tied around his waist and a girlfriend who will not speak following behind closely.
So I ask like every doctor ever " what's wrong ?" He says he will only tell me in private and his girlfriend has to come too. So I agree and take them to a private room.
He begins to explain that he was hanging out for a movie night while the girls parents were out to dinner, and that she wanted to be sexy for him, so she pulled down his pants and began to preform Palacio on him until pleasure turned to horrible pain. Then he showed me.
He said "looks like a razor blade blowjob" all I could do is help ease his pain and check him over to look for major damage and I asked if he was circumcised. He said "no"and I said "you are now." I turn to the girlfriend and ask if she had anything to show me. I grab a pan and she spits out the remaining tissue of what foreskin she had shredded when giving the blowjob.
The boyfriend looks in the pan and faints.

So I call all the parents and it was like watching comedy show. The parents of the girl looked like something out of doctor sues and the boys parents walk in to the ER dressed like a pimp and a hooker. But before the boy left he asked me one question that haunts me and makes me bust out laughing to this day. And I quote.
"Does this make me Jewish now?"
A toe rag was originally a foot wrapping used, since mediaeval times up until the mid-nineteenth century, to protect the foot from chafing by boots or shoes. As these were, quite literally, rags they weren’t usually washed, and so with use they became very smelly until they were thrown away. Because of the similarity in smell, toe rag also became the name applied to dried, salted cod or other things with a strong, unpleasant, fishy smell. It didn’t take that long before the name was applied to someone who was an obnoxious, unpleasant OIC.
1 “Socks! Those aren’t socks you smelly git, they’re toe rags!”
2 “What have you been cooking? Smells like toe rag!”
3 “I can smell ‘er fanny from ‘ere, proper toe rag.”
4 That Heale Malcolm is a right toe rag.
Toe Rag by AKACroatalin November 29, 2016
Word of the Day on July 24, 2026

Eternity leave 

When some resigns or retires from a job, they are on "eternity leave". This can also refer to someone who has passed away, especially someone who worked somewhere for a long time, retired/resigned, then passed away later.
Oh I'm sorry, you didn't know that Kelly is on eternity leave? She resigned and moved to Hawaii!

With regrets I would like to inform you that my boss is officially on eternity leave. I will never see or hear them again. Ever.
Eternity leave by LingDanc803 February 7, 2023
Word of the Day on July 23, 2026
The hypothetical man (often a sinister character who decided not to go to boot camp) that is doing your girlfriend/wife while you are on deployment overseas.
Ain't no use in goin home,
Jody's got your girl and gone.
Ain't no use in goin back,
Jody's got your Cadillac,
Ain't no use in feeling blue,
Jody's took your checkbook too.
jody by Sgt Apan March 31, 2006
Word of the Day on July 22, 2026

girl grip 

The ability girls and women have developed to hold several items at once in one hand. The skill has been developed due to the lack of pockets in women's clothing.
I thought she'd need multiple trips to carry her phone, keys, wallet, and Starbucks to her car since she needed the other hand to open the door, but she used her impressive girl grip to carry everything in one hand.
girl grip by SillyMilly33 July 31, 2023
Word of the Day on July 21, 2026

Condiment home

A term that refers to one persons household hold nothing but ingredients and condiments in the kitchen area
Person A: Hey dude you got some snacks?
Person B: Nah, i live in a fucking condiment home...
Word of the Day on July 20, 2026

bang a you-ee 

of Massachusetts orig. "to make a u-turn"
hey, we missed the bar, bang a you-ee
Word of the Day on July 19, 2026