Karen: I need to get my baby daddy's lesbian lover to pay child support for my green onions and failed abortion.

Rachel: My nail salon burned down because I tried to make glitter fireball shots with one of the hair straighteners.

Me: Karen, you are ratchet aye eff and sort of fabulous for somehow making the courts believe your green onions are a child. Rachel, you are fabulous but still ratchet aye eff and possibly dumber than collection of mentally handicapped rocks. Both y'all are ratchulous.

P.S., To my former lesbian lover who said: "Omg Karen. Stop trying to make Ratchulous happen."--you're cancelled. You know who you are and you are no longer ratchulous.

This Jazz Cabbage got me zooted. Jazz Cabbage is less harmful than Squares. I’m smoking that Jazz Cabbage boy.