'....while my
Grandfather was stationed in India, he went walking in the nearby forest, whilst he was walking he stumbled across a fine young native lady, equipped with what he liked to call 'Two Juicy Marmadukes'. Being the man action that he was, he did what any
real soldier would do in that situation. He quickly whipped out his 'Pump Action Yoghurt Rifle' and quickly gave her a good going over, leaving her like a
painter's radio....'