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progervative 

A progressive conservative in approach to problem solving. A person who is progressive by recombining ideas that worked in the past into new ideas. Progressives generally want to try things that didn't work in the past, because, well, it wasn't them trying it, and they are way cooler than the last people. (Or they don't know it failed last time.) Conservatives generally like trying things that worked before but aren't smart or cool enough to make cool or clueless people understand or like the old idea.
Obama is slippin! He talked all progressive, but he's like some dang progervative.
progervative by progervative January 25, 2009
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preservative 

The thing that you give to small children telling them it's a balloon. Condom.
Martin: Wait, I'll put on a preservative.
Claudia: That's OK, I'm on the pill.
Martin: God exists...!
preservative by analphabet November 13, 2007

F.D.A. Approved Certified 100% Whole Organic No Added Flavours or Preservatives Homosexual 

A 'F.D.A. Approved Certified 100% Whole Organic No Added Flavours or Preservatives Homosexual' is a completely homosexual person who is undeniably a part of the LGBTQ+ community. Their homosexual energy is so strong, they could make the American Navy seem like heterosexuals. Anyone who is a F.D.A. Approved Certified 100% Whole Organic No Added Flavours or Preservatives Homosexual is awarded the honours of being the absolutely biggest homosexual in existence.
Koki: Look over there! That bozo over there! They're 110% gay, I am sure of it! They breathe in a homosexual way!

Vee: (gay breathing)

Koki: Yeah, they deserve the F.D.A. Approved Certified 100% Whole Organic No Added Flavours or Preservatives Homosexual award.