Skip to main content

professional crastinator 

One who waits until the very last second to do anything, but still gets it done. One who will do anything and everything he/she can to put off work, including writing definitions into the Urban Dictionary. One who procrastinates in every aspect in his or her life.
"What do you do for a living?"
"Well, I'm a Professional Crastinator"
"What's that?"
"Hold on, I'll tell you in a minute."
professional crastinator mug front
Get the professional crastinator mug.
See more merch

Professional Crastinator 

A person who can waste as much time as humanly possible, as effectively as possible, while still attaining above average grades in school/working adequately.

Different from procrastination due to the effectiveness, (i.e. rather than twiddling your thumbs you prepare to be as comfortable as possible for as long as possible, and due to the result, where you still perform adequately enough to make a living and have it not affect you financially/educationally.
"How the fuck does that guy get such good marks, he just sits in his room browsing memes and masturbating for hours on end!"
"He's a Professional Crastinator, BRENDA, you uneducated capitalist fuck. Of course he can waste that much time and somehow make a living simultaneously"

proffesional crastinator 

A person who is good at doing anything as long as it is not productive in anyway towards the task at hand.

Ironically a professional crastinator often realizes true potential at their actual profession
**Man Aoun is so good at procrastinating he should figure out a way he can do it while getting paid and become a proffesional crastinator
proffesional crastinator by Bskoks13 February 11, 2009

sans sheriff 

Lawless use of fonts or typography, with no regard to aesthetics or legibility
I'm putting this CV straight in the bin. Written totally sans sheriff.
sans sheriff by Jamarley July 3, 2019

Breadhead 

Someone who is addicted to obtaining money and building wealth. A money addict and fanatic. Breadheads often work more than one full-time job, and some even participate in illicit activities to "obtain the bread".
A breadhead is like a crackhead, but for money instead of crack.
Breadhead by 🅱️ U S 3 4 8 March 30, 2022

Stink lines

As seen in illustrations or cartoons: Wavy, vertical lines rising above a person, place or thing. Denotes a foul odor.
"You didn't put enough stink lines on your picture of the teacher."
Stink lines by Athene Airheart March 14, 2004

schmegegge 

Yiddish slang word meaning bullshit, baloney, hogwash, nonsense, crock of shit or hot air.
I don't buy the schmegegge about Morty sleeping with Moira.
His version of the story was pure schmegegge.
The whole schmegegge was made up to get Liz a little bit of attention.
schmegegge by budsbabe February 1, 2008