plausitive

Definition:
The state of being aggressively confident about a fact, statistic, or future plan that is completely made up, but is delivered with such high-speed verbal velocity and optimistic rambling that the listener is physically unable to interject to correct it.
It is a portmanteau of "Plausible," "Positive," and "Exhaustive."
A statement is considered plausitive when the speaker has been talking for at least four minutes without inhaling, forcing the universe to accept their nonsense as truth simply because they possess more kinetic energy than anyone else in the room.

Person A: "Wait, did Val just say that raccoons are actually ancient Egyptian guard dogs that evolved thumbs to steal wifi passwords?"
Person B: "Yeah, she’s in a loop. She’s being totally plausitive right now. Just nod and don't make eye contact or she'll start explaining the wifi architecture."

plausitive by Jeff, the Digital Alchemist January 27, 2026

pawsitive 

When your cat is sure of something

Human - Hey kitty are you sure you didn't kill that bird
Cat - I'm pawsitive

pawsitive by mongwong December 25, 2019

Plastive 

1.something that has plastic-like qualities.
2.something that looks like its been covered in plastic.
3.something that just looks " plastic " .

That car looks so plastive!
That girl looks so plastive! ( meaning, she has had a lot of facial work done) such as face lifts and such.

Plastive by Ryan Greenough January 4, 2009

Pawsitive procrastination 

Derived from "positive procrastination". Positive procrastination is when you put off doing an urgent task by doing less urgent activities (such as cleaning, working out, running errands, ect.). Pawsitive procrastination is like positive procrastination, but specifically using pet care/attention activities to avoid work.

My term paper is due tonight but I am engaged in pawsitive procrastination by taking my dog on an extra walk today.

Pawsitive procrastination by Valkling October 9, 2020

Plausitivity 

Positive that anything could possible.

"Well, maybe its possible!" Eric said, again demonstrating his unwavering plausitivity.

Plausitivity by Padilla Gorilla October 3, 2018

false pausitive 

Refers to when someone temporarily stops his current activities to allow for a common bodily-function (burp, fart, sneeze, etc.), but then said "eruption" never ends up occurring.

My co-worker claims to have a tickly nasal-canal and that's why he has to stop working so many times and just stand/sit motionless for a good while with his hand covering his nose/mouth as a precaution against "messy" sneezing, but he very seldom actually does "let fly", and so it looks like just false pausitives to me --- I think he merely wants to take lots of breaks and get out of working steadily like the rest of us!

false pausitive by QuacksO November 18, 2017