own her wetness

When a man is trying to impress strangers on the internet because his wife doesn’t give him the validation he desperately seeks, he often resorts to telling women (especially on twitter) that he owns their wetness (plural) or owns her wetness (singular).

Owning her wetness is actually impossible. Nobody can own her wetness. Her wetness is not ownable. Only sad, lonely, married men ever unironically say that they own anyone’s wetness.

This condition dates back to 2018 and there is currently no known cure. Research into the early warning signs of saying dumb things like, “I own her wetness,” is ongoing.

Owning (her) wetness on the internet saved my marriage.

A gentleman always holds the door to let a lady go first THEN offers to own her wetness.

Own her wetness by blocking her then stalk all her tweets from your alt.

Woman on twitter:

Man on twitter: I own your wetness

Woman on twitter: ew, fuck off, dumbass

One small step for man, one giant leap for owning her wetness.

Indiana Jones and the Quest for Her Wetness.

Star Wars Episode V: Her Wetness Strikes Back.

Him: I want to own your wetness.

His wife: You do, honey.

Him: Not you.

own her wetness by Mrs. Steve Buscemi October 30, 2019