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The Onioniest Timeline
An acknowledgement that we’re living in The Darkest Timeline, where satirical article concepts and titles formerly championed by The Onion are every-day, real-life news stories.
I just saw a Fox News chyron that read “TRUMP: YOU CAN’T IMPEACH SOMEBODY ‘DOING A GREAT JOB’ “ - another poignant reminder that we’re living in the Onioniest Timeline.
The Onioniest Timeline by #ai August 31, 2018
Related Words
onionise
Onionfist
Video games are the antidote to an illness called boredom. Games cure boredom. When you are diagnosed with boredom, you play League of Legends (LOL) or Call of Duty (COD).
But there is a deadly variant of the boredom disease: Classroom boredom. The most bored state of a human being is the state of sitting in a boring classroom and listening to a boring lecture. Just as absolute zero marks the coldest temperature, classroom boredom marks the greatest degree of boredom.
However, existing medicine such as LOL or COD can not be prescribed to a person diagnosed with classroom boredom. The games are blocked by the school network and are too conspicuous to play. They fall under the radar of teachers, making them inaccessible and ineffective for curing classroom boredom.
Onionfist Studio specializes in treating classroom boredom. We develop undetectable and unblockable video games, providing life-saving treatment to patients diagnosed with classroom boredom. Packaged as Chrome Extensions, our games can be opened and closed instantly at the click of an icon or the escape button. Moreover, our games do not show up in your search history. Onionfist games will disguise and infiltrate any firewall to save lives.
That’s right. The mission of Onionfist is to eradicate classroom boredom and restore the sanity of school children world wide.
But there is a deadly variant of the boredom disease: Classroom boredom. The most bored state of a human being is the state of sitting in a boring classroom and listening to a boring lecture. Just as absolute zero marks the coldest temperature, classroom boredom marks the greatest degree of boredom.
However, existing medicine such as LOL or COD can not be prescribed to a person diagnosed with classroom boredom. The games are blocked by the school network and are too conspicuous to play. They fall under the radar of teachers, making them inaccessible and ineffective for curing classroom boredom.
Onionfist Studio specializes in treating classroom boredom. We develop undetectable and unblockable video games, providing life-saving treatment to patients diagnosed with classroom boredom. Packaged as Chrome Extensions, our games can be opened and closed instantly at the click of an icon or the escape button. Moreover, our games do not show up in your search history. Onionfist games will disguise and infiltrate any firewall to save lives.
That’s right. The mission of Onionfist is to eradicate classroom boredom and restore the sanity of school children world wide.
Onionfist by professional_circle December 28, 2022
More from Urban Dictionary
Respectfully
Precedes or follows either a gratuitously disrespectful or honest remark, originated in New York City. Used in similar fashion to "no offense" or "to be honest," interchangeably.
Ya mans is wild buns, respectfully. Respectfully he's washed.
After school, The Modells on Jamaica Ave was active. Respectfully.
After school, The Modells on Jamaica Ave was active. Respectfully.
Respectfully by john quan the first December 20, 2020
Word of the Day on September 26, 2026
You met me at a very Chinese time in my life
Dante: "I wish I could be Nigerian, but I can't because I'm Chinese. You met me at a very Chinese time in my life."
You met me at a very Chinese time in my life by Sus Chad September 21, 2026
Word of the Day on September 25, 2026
crunchy
Adjective. Used to describe persons who have adjusted or altered their lifestyle for environmental reasons. Crunchy persons tend to be politically strongly left-leaning and may be additionally but not exclusively categorized as vegetarians, vegans, eco-tarians, conservationists, environmentalists, neo-hippies, tree huggers, nature enthusiasts, etc.
Also used to describe establishments where alternative foods and products are sold, i.e. natural food stores.
Modified derivative of granola.
Also used to describe establishments where alternative foods and products are sold, i.e. natural food stores.
Modified derivative of granola.
murderhobo
In a tabletop game, a murderhobo is a player who murders NPCs indiscriminately. This is normally derogatory, referring to a player who totally ignores quests, dialog, backstory, trade, world building etc.
The term is most common with Dungeons and Dragons, but it can be applied to most RPGs where the player is allowed to kill most quest-giving NPCs and NPC traders. E.g. Elder Scrolls, Fallout, Divinity original sin.
The term is most common with Dungeons and Dragons, but it can be applied to most RPGs where the player is allowed to kill most quest-giving NPCs and NPC traders. E.g. Elder Scrolls, Fallout, Divinity original sin.
DM: The sad little orphan girl tugs at Steve's trenchcoat to get his attention, and ask for help saving her pet dog from...
Steve: I'd like to roll a strength check against strangling the orphan.
Dave: I call dibs on the dog.
DM: You murderhobos disgust me.
Steve: I'd like to roll a strength check against strangling the orphan.
Dave: I call dibs on the dog.
DM: You murderhobos disgust me.
murderhobo by Loup&S September 9, 2021
Word of the Day on September 22, 2026