The greatest hypermarket/general conglomerate that the United Kingdom has ever seen. In the beginning, there was simply ASDA. However, after losing his left toe in a tragic deli-counter accident, Grocer Sainsber Morrisbury I developed a radical idea. A one-stop shop for everything. Funerals: ✅ Spiritual Enlightenment: ✅ Puff Pastry ✅ This was 1982.
Now, in
2021. You are truly
never more than 12
ft from a Morrisbury'
s. Sainsber Morrisbury III took over the business when his
father, Sainsber Morrisbury II perished in a tragic frozen foods experiment. It was widely speculated that Malcolm Walkér had perfected the
secret to eternal life. They were wrong.
Sainsber Morrisbury III has invested deeply in the business and has sewn the rewards. His personal wealth now matches the nation of Turkmenistan. He
even has a fully automated microwave oven with dot
matrix display which shows such delights as:
𝙚𝙣𝙟𝙤𝙮 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙢𝙚𝙖𝙡
𝒲𝒶𝓇𝓃𝒾𝓃𝑔! 𝒫𝑜𝓅𝒸𝑜𝓇𝓃 𝓂𝑜𝒾𝓈𝓉𝓊𝓇𝑒 𝓉𝑜𝑜 𝒽𝒾𝑔𝒽
ℂ𝕒𝕦𝕥𝕚𝕠𝕟! 𝕋𝕙𝕚𝕤 𝕤𝕙𝕚𝕥 𝕨𝕚𝕝𝕝 𝕓𝕖 𝕙𝕠𝕥.
Sainsber Morrisbury III personally funded research & development to determine the possibility that lemons
may possess demonic powers. The R&D results have yet to be published.
𝒜𝓁𝓁 𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓈 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝓂𝑜𝓇𝑒, 𝒶𝓉 𝑀𝑜𝓇𝓇𝒾𝓈𝒷𝓊𝓇𝓎'𝓈
PS: Visit us at Morrisburys.co.uk
Dearest Former Employer.
I am hereby telling you to stick your shitty job up your arse as I have found better employment at Morrisbury'
s. The Wakefield branch to be exact. Please pass my comments to your area manager who, I
hope,
will take these great critisisms on board.
Firmest Regards,
Spdan Aialding.
