monkey fucked 

When you have a thought, then something totally ridiculous happens, and you COMPLETELY loose that thought. You were just monkey fucked.

You are sitting at a bar talking about some stupid bullshit, and then a car out side EXPLODES:

Person 1: Yeah man, so I was on my way to...
Car: BOOOOOOM!!
Person 2: Holy shit! ...What were you saying?
Person 1:... I have no idea.
Person 2: You been monkey fucked, fool.

monkey fucked by Crouching Monkey Hidden Anus July 9, 2009

Monkey fucked 

When you get screwed over

Sounds like your boss just monkey fucked you man!!!!

Monkey fucked by Heatoshun October 24, 2017

monkey fucked 

to wait upon or to be left by a monkey

burch was supposed to come over with a fat one that he owed me but i got monkey fucked

monkey fucked by brons December 30, 2007

Fucked Monkey

A person in a situation where there is no foreseeable way out.
Being in a whole lot of trouble.

1."Wow Ray got caught with 12 kilos of coke in his luggage, and is going away for 40 years?"
"Yeah, hes one Fucked Monkey."
2."You didn't study for the test,it's 60%of the grade,your a fucked monkey!"

Fucked Monkey by balls1888 April 28, 2010

Fucked The Monkey 

To perform a slight error that unwittingly caused horrible, catastrophic level events

reference to: the widely-believed myth that AIDS began after someone fucked a monkey, caught the disease and then spread it through mankind.

A: "so I was writing a dirty email to my girl and accidentally sent it to my boss, her husband found it on her phone, thought she was cheating, and killed her and himself, now the company is folding and 400 people are without work and since this is a private hospital it's leaving 1000 patients without care....."

B: "dude, you fucked the monkey"

Fucked The Monkey by Dyrk Diggler April 1, 2011

Jesus fucked a monkey! 

Phrase used when a pub door swings back and nearly dislodges the pyramid of glasses being carried back to table, or when a twat cyclist speeds through a red light at a pedestrian crossing and almost kills you, or practically anytime 'fuckin hell', 'you fuckin twat', or 'shiiiiiiit' simply doesn't cut the mustard.
Used sparingly, it's effective, offensive and infectious.

Jesus fucked a monkey!, watch out twat.

Jesus fucked a monkey! by TauntonJah November 5, 2019

the man who fucked the monkey 

The man who fucked the monkey which gave us aids. Someone who represents the pinnacle of human crapulence. A term reserved for the most joyless wastes of protoplasm that shit all over the earth, sell us the bucket and order us to clean it up.

So Mr Cameron, we have chronic inner city decay, one million children being brought up in abusive homes and young men coming back from Afghanistan in bits. What do you plan to do about it?

Tax cuts for the rich.

You are the man who fucked the monkey which gave us aids

the man who fucked the monkey by DocFlox March 22, 2010