mindsturbate 

To masturbate only using one's mind. Titillation comes from stimulation of the brain. Ejaculation often indicated by concentrated spit being ejected from the mouth.

"At the MENSA meeting, I couldn't keep myself mindsturbating. Yes, the ladies were that good."

mindsturbate by $$$ February 21, 2004

criminal mindsturbating

Being so aroused by the characters, events, or interactions on Criminal Minds that your body brings itself to climax of its own accord.

Mom: Honey I heard shouts from your room last Wednesday at 9/8c.
Daughter: Oh don't worry mom I was just criminal mindsturbating.

criminal mindsturbating by katiedahmer February 22, 2011

mindsterbate 

An alternative to having intelligent conversation with other people, in which you have a conversation or debate with yourself, either aloud or in your head. Often caused by the absence of intelligent friends or acquaintances.

Man, my friends are such idiots. I have to mindsterbate every night.

mindsterbate by mes-toa October 15, 2005

Mindsterbating 

The act of masterbating without using any masterbatory aids such as pronography.

Friend 1- Why didnt you answer your phone?

Friend 2- Sorry, I was mindsterbating to the memory of those two chicks kissing at the party lastnight.

Friend 1- You're pathetic.

Mindsterbating by Jack Hambit April 2, 2011

mikesturbate

When you masturbate to a Michael Jackson Video, Song, Movie, or to thinking about Michael Jackson Sexually

I'm going to Mikesturbate to the in the closet music video.

mikesturbate by Lastchancebitch September 13, 2015

mansturbate 

The same as regular masturbation, but more aggressive and manly.

Real men don't jack off, they mansturbate.

mansturbate by MikeCareyHunt December 27, 2010

Mittsturbate 

Verb. The act of partaking in masturbational activity using a baseball mitt. One must tenderize their preferred mitt and likewise toughen the area to be stimulated in order for successful mittsturbation to occur. After many sessions with one's mitt, the mitt will be considered "broken-in". Each session brings the mittsturbator closer to this desired state of mitt. This is an extremely advanced technique in terms of self stimulation, and should only be exercised when one considers himself (or her...self..) ready. Prerequisite: one must be a major league masturbator in order to commence in minor league mittsturbating.

John mittsturbated with his new Easton glove, which ultimately resulted in a pop-fly to center field.

Stanley asked his girlfriend to mittsturbate him. Unfortunately, she could not because she did not own a left-handed glove.

Mittsturbate by Neezplz January 9, 2010