Malchoff are a sector of the population above all other mortal beings
the males are extremely handsome, very funny, and deceptively strong and very very flirtatious
the females are also very flirtatious and unmeasurably beautiful
kate: he's so amazing and so good looking laura: i wish he was mine kate: back off that ones mine laura: *sigh* i wish i had a Malchoff
While our lifespan is the number of years we will live, our healthspan is the number of healthy years we will have and our sexspan is is the number of years we will continue to be healthy enough to continue having an active sex life.
A lighthearted reaction upon receiving disappointing news of some sort. Usually something that isn't a particularly a big deal, esp. when it primarily affects someone else - sort of a mild schadenfreude. Sometimes doubled or tripled, and possibly said in a sing-songy voice for added comedic effect to imitate a muted trumpet, which is how the meme originated.