An eight-legged creature that pretends he's an octopus but has no suction cups on his tentacles so he's kind of like an eight-legged slippery squid arm Giant. He can't grab anything but he can sure slap the shit out of a lot of stuff. He is soft-spoken underline severe anger issues borderline serial killer.
Chris " no John you don't want to go in that water today"
John " why the hell wouldn't I it's a beautiful damn day"
Chris " you know there's a ton of those moctopusses out there and you know they get ahold of you oh wait, they can't hold on to you but they will slap the shit right out of you... so go ahead"
While our lifespan is the number of years we will live, our healthspan is the number of healthy years we will have and our sexspan is is the number of years we will continue to be healthy enough to continue having an active sex life.
A lighthearted reaction upon receiving disappointing news of some sort. Usually something that isn't a particularly a big deal, esp. when it primarily affects someone else - sort of a mild schadenfreude. Sometimes doubled or tripled, and possibly said in a sing-songy voice for added comedic effect to imitate a muted trumpet, which is how the meme originated.