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Eugene Kanning 

An extreme activity that involves at least three sheep, five priests, and one lonely obese girl. Similar to badminton, the game usually consists of balls being hit over a large object. In some countries, it is also known as extreme teabagging but sometimes it may involve the use of a petrified elephant testicle and a one gallon tub of vaseline.

It is illegal in the United States of America, because it has caused acute testicular shrinkage in 20% of all Asian American males.
"I'm 64 and a chronic masturbater with a disturbingly large Beanie Baby collection, because I enjoy Eugene Kanning too much when I am in Sunday School."

"I'm extreme and I Eugene Kan on a daily basis. The only side effect is that I ejaculate dust."

Kantingoo 

Kantingoo is a mythical creature who was created by a young girl with two sides to her personality (Kantingoo being the bad one). Kantingoo has vampire fangs, blood red iris', huge black wings, jet black hair and wolverine claws. This creature feeds off human flesh and organs. She is a character in a story that hasn't been published but hopefully will sometime in the near or distant future.
Person1: If you bumped into Kantingoo, what would you do?

Person2: I'd fricken' run dude!
Kantingoo by Kantingoo November 8, 2011
"Sorry about Kantening in the bathroom. At least it all went in the toilet. I've mastered that art. "
Kantening by IamKrAzE January 9, 2009
A moderating technique where you use complex philosophical arguments in order to confuse less talented trolls. The name is derived from Immanuel Kant, a well known german philosopher from the early 20th century.
I was kanting those trolls pretty hard!
kanting by S2_Imrahil August 2, 2016
Kanting is when a person uses a fruit or vegetable to sexually pleasure them selfs
E.i. A man inserts his penis into a watermelon, or a female uses a zucchini as a didlo
Look over there, that man is kanting on that orange
Kanting by Hollakrell May 6, 2024

Extreme Eugene Kanning 

The extreme version of the popular sport, Eugene Kanning. A Canadian past time originating from the deep woodlands of Eugene, British Columbia. The home of hobbits, elves and the occasional mogwai.

Akin to Arena Football, this athletic activity consists of a bag of rice, one goat, the tears of Britney Spears, and a lonely obese British girl with questionable taste in men. The game is played over a period of five hours and the winner gains the affection and hand of a fair maiden that has ripened with age. Leading to a life of scattered happiness, broken dreams and premature balding on the chest and left thigh. The latter causing the end of a bright future in Bollywood. This game should only be played thirty minutes after eating and never on an empty stomach. Instagramming every other second is a necessity. Memes are recommended. Never run with scissors at the pool.

76% of all Asian males that have gone Extreme Eugene Kanning have developed a rare case of Huxtabate Syndrome.
As an impressionable youth in the heyday of the American depression, I was a dedicated fan of Extreme Eugene Kanning. The Canadian sport taught me the ins and outs of puberty, bench presses and how to win at Jenga. I later learned that the matches were faked and Hulk Hogan used steroids. It hurt my soul, but I still watch Extreme Eugene Kanning matches on ESPN every Spring. It reminds me of the day I learned how to use chopsticks and proposed to my wife.
Extreme Eugene Kanning by pinkamigo November 24, 2014