Professor: "
Johnny, we need to talk about your coursework this semester in my Advanced International Relations 338 class."
Johnny: "Yeah, what of it, shithead?"
Professor: "Well, for your first paper, you simply wrote 'Fuck you, Professor Cockgobbler' and drew a cartoon which appeared to be me giving a...um...blow job...um...to a buffalo. For your second paper, you submitted an actual photo of you having anal intercourse with my 15-year-old daughter. On the final exam, you wrote 'I am going to brutally murder your entire extended family, seriously.' in dog
shit. Then you did in fact murder them all."
Johnny: "So what?"
Professor: "This type of disrespect will absolutely not be tolerated in my class. I'm going to have to punish you by lowering your grade to an A-minus."
Johnny: "NO!!!! That's going to lower my GPA so much!"
Professor: "Well, given that you have committed such atrocities in addition to your complete lack of ambition as well as academic ability, I'd say you deserve no better than a 3.98."
Johnny: "WHAT??? How could you say such a thing? You'd have to be a severely
retarded quadriplegic to get a GPA that terrible!"
