Imaginary Girlfriend

A nonexistent girlfriend (not that internet service schtick). I have one of these. The pros far outway the cons. No dates to remember, no birthdays, so you can basically be a slob and get away with it. If you give her some interesting problems, she'll really be 3 dimensional. Mine's a kleptomaniac and a narcissist.

Mom: Where are all your pens?
Me: Bonnie must have stolen them.
Mom: Who the hell's Bonnie?
Me: Exactly.

Imaginary Girlfriend by Long June 22, 2005

imaginary girlfriend syndrome 

A condition in which a friendzoned guy begins to treat one of his female friends as a girlfriend, by being overbearing and overprotective around her

Jon: Hey, do you know why Bill was so mad at me when I told him I was spending time with our mutual friend Alice?
Phil: No idea... sounds like an imaginary girlfriend syndrome though!

imaginary girlfriend syndrome by protomorphius January 29, 2012

jerb 

well known from south park
rednecks get angrry that future folk took there jobs so they yell
They took ouare jerbs!

Them future folk took ouare jerbs!

jerb by Jimberley Kim April 7, 2005

Cheeks 

An Irish phrase meaning shit, derived from ass
(Not to be confused with the literal description of one's buttocks)

"Did you hear the song Aylek$ dropped?"
"Hardly. Her music is absolute cheeks."

"My boyfriend say LaFlame is cheeks."
"Tell your boyfriend I said it's his mixtape that's cheeks."

Cheeks by thecartisan April 26, 2020

sans sheriff 

Lawless use of fonts or typography, with no regard to aesthetics or legibility

I'm putting this CV straight in the bin. Written totally sans sheriff.

sans sheriff by Jamarley July 3, 2019

Breadhead 

Someone who is addicted to obtaining money and building wealth. A money addict and fanatic. Breadheads often work more than one full-time job, and some even participate in illicit activities to "obtain the bread".

A breadhead is like a crackhead, but for money instead of crack.

Breadhead by 🅱️ U S 3 4 8 March 30, 2022

Stink lines

As seen in illustrations or cartoons: Wavy, vertical lines rising above a person, place or thing. Denotes a foul odor.

"You didn't put enough stink lines on your picture of the teacher."

Stink lines by Athene Airheart March 14, 2004