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I can’t even 

When someone or something is so absurd , you can’t deal with them.

You are so over it that you can’t even.
I’m so hung over and my work wants me to come in on my day off, I can’t even.
I can’t even by Twodoves October 6, 2017
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I can’t even 

When all you can say are numbers that end in 1, 3, 5, 7, and 9.
One. Dude, I can’t even.
I can’t even by BusyPooping September 22, 2022

I can’t even 

When all you can say are numbers that end in 1, 3, 5, 7, and 9.
One. Dude, I can’t even.
I can’t even by BusyPooping September 22, 2022

I can’t even 

Example one: Kari

Example two: Katrina
Kari in a bubble bath with a glass of wine talking about her (perfect) life to her sister: “I can’t even”.

Katrina lounging in front of her electric fire complaining about her coffee roasting business (also perfect life) to her sisters: “i can’t even!”.

I can't even

Used on blogging sites, mostly Tumblr, is an expression that denotes so many emotional responses that the user can’t even comprehend what has been said or seen.
I literally cannot even..
I can't even..
I am unable to even..
I have lost my ability to even..
I am so unable to even..
I can't even by Tumblahblogger November 21, 2012

I can't even

The complete, sudden onset of the cessation of brain activity, brought under the presence of acute stress, which fully affects the person only a short time after it strikes them. Said person, under the duress of the symptoms, demonstrate their affliction by alerting to others that they can't even, in reference to their inability to deal with the symptoms, or their inability to perform simple actions which have been made impossible by their afflictions.
"I can't even- (breath, talk, think, feel my body, etc.)"
I can't even by Nethalas August 27, 2014

I can't even...

An incomplete thought used generally by the Caucasian-American female when something causes them to laugh rather hard. Typically, the Caucasian female does not know what she "can't even".
Caucasian female 1: Omg, Did you see this Vine yet??
Caucasian female 2: No! Show me!
Caucasian female 1: *Shows her*
Caucasian female 2: *Literally dying* Bahaha! Omg, I can't even...!
More from Urban Dictionary

murderhobo 

In a tabletop game, a murderhobo is a player who murders NPCs indiscriminately. This is normally derogatory, referring to a player who totally ignores quests, dialog, backstory, trade, world building etc.

The term is most common with Dungeons and Dragons, but it can be applied to most RPGs where the player is allowed to kill most quest-giving NPCs and NPC traders. E.g. Elder Scrolls, Fallout, Divinity original sin.
DM: The sad little orphan girl tugs at Steve's trenchcoat to get his attention, and ask for help saving her pet dog from...
Steve: I'd like to roll a strength check against strangling the orphan.
Dave: I call dibs on the dog.
DM: You murderhobos disgust me.
murderhobo by Loup&S September 9, 2021
Word of the Day on September 22, 2026
In sales terms, a whale is a prospect that is significantly larger than an organization’s average customer.

Whales are large and extremely difficult to close. Due to their immense size, they are highly sought-after.

A whale is typically identified at first by a whale hunter on the sales team, but often requires cross-discipline participation in order to close; this includes assistance from operations, engineering, creative, client success, and business development teams.
"Shit...the sales director chewed me out on the sales call this morning. He's totally pissed that I have nothing in my pipeline. I've been focused on this one whale for so long that I haven't had time to prospect for normal-sized deals."
Whale by FQ_GFY February 3, 2020
Word of the Day on September 21, 2026

Concrete cowboy 

A guy who thinks he's a country kinda guy, but in reality lives a comfortable city / suburban life.
Eugene: Look at that dude in the cowboy hat!
Todd: He's just a concrete cowboy.
Word of the Day on September 20, 2026
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