hot lettuce 

An exquisite sex act requiring a bagged salad from a local market, a woman's accessible anal cavity, and deep, meaningful desire. First, a man (any man) closes his fist around a portion of the salad. He then lovingly inserts his fist into the woman's anus for a duration of their joint consent. When the couple is sufficiently aroused, the man releases the salad before removing his hand from the woman's anus. With the salad inside, the two enjoy a standard round of anal sex. The man must ejaculate onto the salad, as a dressing. Finally, the act is completed upon receipt of the "hot lettuce" by the man's mouth, eating the sumptuous morsel from her pooping cavity.

"No thank you, waiter. My wife and I will dessert at home with a steaming bowl of hot lettuce."

hot lettuce by ultramundane8 June 19, 2016

hot lettuce 

Lettuce that has been in contact with other hot food, resulting in an elevated temperature of the leafy green topping. Common substances responsible for heat transfer include cheese, mayonnaise, buffalo sauce, and toasted sesame seed buns. The lettuce may also be cooked by broiling, roasting, frying, steamed, or flambéd. A controversial gastronomic phenomenon, hot lettuce has been known to divide families. Proponents laud it as a delicacy while others find it unfit for consumption. Real talk: it's mainly something white people like.

"Kenzie went to Amigo's and got a #3 with extra lettuce. How can she eat all that hot lettuce without wanting to yammy?"
"Are you kidding me? Hot lettuce is bomb... faaaa shooo."

hot lettuce by Arcese July 20, 2009

Hot Lettuce 

The way your genitals feel when you have to pull your underwear up quickly in the middle of a hot, wet sex session to avoid being caught.

My girlfriend and I are sitting here with hot lettuce since my mom came home early.

Hot Lettuce by Arrowhead 6 November 3, 2019

Hot Lettuce 

Genitals after sex. Hot, moist, sweaty, limp.

"Not now honey, I'm all hot lettuce."

Hot Lettuce by Mokedo January 4, 2014

Hot lettuce 

The feeling you get when your extremely hungover. Hot sweats, chills, nausea, the shits, and the whole shebang. You feel soggy like hot, wet lettuce. I mean, can you really feel worse than that?

"Man, I drank so much last night. I feel like fucking hot lettuce".

Hot lettuce by Sydneyp0798 January 14, 2022

Hot Lettuce 

When you find something random (preferably food) really attractive.

A: Why are you just staring at that sandwich?
B: Have you ever thought about how hot food can be?
A: Hot as in 'hot' hot. No.

B: Shame, because this is some Hot Lettuce.

Hot Lettuce by Th3_P4nd4_H3r0 August 29, 2016