Australian slang for 'not my fucking job'.
Coined during the devastating bushfires of the Australian black summer of 2019/20, as the Prime Minister Scott Morrison took holidays in Hawaii, when asked by a journalist to help the people affected, Scotty from Marketing replied: 'I don't hold a hose'.
'Could you help me finish these reports? I'm snowed under and the deadline is tonight.'
'Sorry mate, I don't hold a hose.'
It is a literary term used to burn someone hotter than my mixtape. This term ascends beyond things like "Your mom gay" or "Your daddy a lesbian." I did it to my friend once. My friend has level 2 cancer.
Friend:"Wanna get a pizza?"
You:"You're bro's a hose."
Friend: *Dies