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Looks like I'm going for a swim 

A hit Nicki Minaj song that is a big boy meme on tiktok
Me: I don't know how to put looks like I'm going for a swim in a sentence

I'm going to pull a Cesar Romero

The act of sleeping, sitting or resting in between takes or turns during sports or board games. Named after the actor Cesar Remero who used to sleep inbetween takes of the 1966 Batman TV shows.
1: Dude I'm tired, I'm going to pull a Cesar Romero. Wake me when it's my turn.

2: "Where's Gary?" "Oh he's pulling a Cesar Remero"

There is a global pandemic going on and you’re worried about a banter fest. I’m definitely not going to attend, don’t know about the rest of you, but I care about my life 

The act of roasting physics teachers and messaging the whole sixth form about why attending a banter fest during a global pandemic is an inadvisable thing to do.
Physics teacher: Hey guys I organised a banter fest for you next Monday. It'll be really fun!
Sensible person: There is a global pandemic going on and you’re worried about a banter fest. I’m definitely not going to attend, don’t know about the rest of you, but I care about my life
Physics teacher: Oh I'm sorry I didn't...
Sensible person: There is a global pandemic going on and you’re worried about a banter fest. I’m definitely not going to attend, don’t know about the rest of you, but I care about my life
Physics teacher: *Leaves school to go live in a remote Siberian village*

I'm going to have to give you a duh on that! 

Anytime one person says something silly or dumb that everyone around them knows to be true or fact about the person talking.
Senario 1:
Me: Man I'm sleepy.
You: Your always sleepy.
Me: I'm going to have to give you a duh on that!

I'm going to drive a railroad spike through my skull 

A phrase often said after a friend or loved one has said something so incredibly so atrocious you would feel better off just not being there.

Often used in place of phrases like "Shut the fuck up" "That was the dumbest thing I've ever heard" and "You are a disappointment."
Beta: "That's pretty poggers!"

Schligma: "I'm going to drive a railroad spike through my skull."

I’m going to be a failure 

I’m never going to get anything. I might as well think about ending this life. I have no job skills. I’m way out of luck