flatmaze

1. A labyrinth or a complicated maze, supposedly unsolveable. Can be applied to anything that looks overly complex or intricate in detail.

2. Any method that involves searching for, buying or finding cigarette-shaped candy. (archaic)

1. "Dude, you should have seen her bush, it was like flatmaze down there for real."

2. "We're all out of those candy cigarettes man, I'm gonna have to flatmaze it to the store and get some." "Bring back some Mountain Dew too."

flatmaze by No Carl No October 28, 2005

flatmate's ear 

The ability to pick out the important parts of a really boring speech and ignore everything else, avoiding being bored while not offending the person speaking.

'boring boring boring boring we're meeting at eight tonight boring boring boring boring.'
'ah, thank you flatmate's ear.'
'that reminds me of boring boring boring boring...'

flatmate's ear by Andrew Doughty May 3, 2008

Flatmare

A handy typo that can be used to indicate the true hell that is the other people you may voluntarily or otherwise be forced into sharing accommodation with.

Dave - I'm having a right flatmare at the moment
Phil - Yeah i know, i saw him licking your cheese

Flatmare by TSLewis July 13, 2011

flatmate 

1. A femail friend with small or non-existant mammaries
2. A person who lives in the same flat as you.

1.
What do you think of Emma?
She's flatmate
2.
I'm going for a beer with my flatmates.

flatmate by Fraser Steen October 20, 2006

Aussie flatmate 

A native of Australia who joins your flat share and fucks shit up. Seems "quite sound" when you first meet, but as soon as their name's on the contract shit starts to go wrong:

- multiplication: get home from work and your flat is full of Aussies drinking lager, vomming in your toilet, and touching up bull dykes (known as Sheilas). Once Aussies have multiplied in your house, it is v hard to get rid of them.

- shit banter: Aussie banter is based on their supposed superiority to dumb Yanks, boring Poms, sheep shagging Kiwis, and anyone with brown skin. Still think they dominate most sports, despite this not being true.

- Ramsay Street Kitchen Nightmares: nobody in Australia has any taste or knows how to cook. Your kitchen will look like a load of 14-year-old boys moved in for a month. Signs include stacks of empty beer cans, pizza boxes and the smell of wanking coming from the sink.

- crime: Aussies are descended from convicts. The country has been a hotbed of crime since the days of Ned Kelly, and your Aussie flatmate is no different. As they have no taste (see above), they struggle to steal anything valuable, but your TV may get pawned.

- The Aussie goodbye: If you have managed to survive long enough to outstay your Aussie flatmate, you'll probably be treated to the Aussie goodbye. The classic version is to leave without paying a major bill, several months' rent, and with no forwarding address.

Joe: Hi Brad, I've just got back from work. How was your day?
Brad: I'VE BEEN DRINKIN' HEAPS OF FACKIN' BEER YOU POMMY CUNT!
Joe: Oh that's good. I just noticed there's a naked, overweight, sunburnt woman passed out in my bed.
Brad: HAHA YES MATE, ME AND THE BOYS SPIT ROASTED LISA. AUSSIE AUSSIE AUSSIE. OI OI OI.
Joe: Fuck, I hate having an Aussie flatmate.

Aussie flatmate by Terry Tractorosis December 4, 2012

Flatmate 

a person who you share a room with

My flatmate's telling me to put an ONION in my room

Flatmate by Gokaes June 10, 2018

flatmateship 

(n)the state of being in a flatmate type relationship with another.

We need to talk about our current flatmateship,.... you need to flush the toilet, Karen!

flatmateship by TheArtfulDandger June 5, 2019