New neighbors moved in upstairs a month ago. I could hear rapid and
heavy footsteps (footstomps?), loud chatter, and laughter. Each night, between 2am and 4:30am, loud voracious sex every
day upstairs. They did not know how thin the floor is between me and them, so they did not hold back. One
day, I put my Ninja coffee maker on the "Clean" cycle. Storm clouds roll in halfway through my clean cycle as my upstairs neighbor says "Of
fuck" x 20 "Oh
yeah" x 20. As I'
m pulling food out of the
fridge, I involuntarily hear her have the most quaking orgasm I've ever heard--like Barbarianna's call to Thor from Kung Fury (Kung Fury 2's coming out btw). I may or
may not set the food down and pulled my phone out to recordit.
Two minutes later, while I'
m holding my phone with the Voice Recorder app up to the ceiling, my Ninja coffee maker gives me the beep to end all beeps, literally as loud as a smoke detector, telling me how very clean my coffee maker is. If you live in an apartment complex, you've probably heard smoke detectors in other
people's apartments. I mouth "Oh shit", and I run to the coffee maker and shut it off. (I probably skipped the "Flush cycle" doing this)
Now, I think they know I'
m down here, and we have been eggshelling ever since. The footsteps are infrequent. I
don't hear them have sex anymore. I did hear her giggle quietly while writing this though. That made me feel better, knowing they're still
happy.
