New neighbors moved in upstairs a month ago. I could hear rapid and
heavy footsteps (footstomps?), loud chatter, and laughter. Each night, between 2am and
4:30am, loud voracious sex every day upstairs. They did not know how thin the floor is between me and them, so they did not hold back. One day, I put my Ninja coffee maker on the "
Clean" cycle. Storm clouds roll in halfway through my
clean cycle as my upstairs neighbor says "Of
fuck" x 20 "Oh yeah" x 20. As I'm pulling food out of the fridge, I involuntarily hear her have the most quaking
orgasm I've ever heard--like Barbarianna's call to Thor from Kung Fury (Kung Fury 2's coming out btw). I may or may not
set the food down and pulled my phone out to recordit.
Two minutes later, while I'm holding my phone with the Voice Recorder app up to the ceiling, my Ninja coffee maker gives me the beep to end all beeps, literally as loud as a smoke detector, telling me how very
clean my coffee maker is. If you live in an apartment complex, you've probably heard smoke detectors in other
people's apartments. I mouth "Oh
shit", and I run to the coffee maker and shut it off. (I probably skipped the "Flush cycle" doing this)
Now, I think they know I'm down here, and we have been eggshelling ever since. The footsteps are infrequent. I don't hear them have sex anymore. I did hear her giggle quietly while writing this though. That made me feel better, knowing they're still
happy.
