Term used in referring to an urban myth according to which you may drown if you swim too soon after a meal; apparently you get a cramp and promptly go kerplunk to the bottom. The safe time after the meal, when you can safely swim again, is said to be one hour in Northern Europe, while in Hispanic culture it is often said to be three hours, which is longer than most people spend at the beach. Thought up way back when by some lazy mom who wanted to take a nap in the sun and couldn't bother her ass to look out for the kids; unfortunately it has entered the folk wisdom and some adults end up believing it. Cramps can actually afflict a person at any time and do not adversely affect one's buoyancy in the water. Neither do they do too much damage to your swimming skills, unless perhaps you are participating in an Olympic event. They are more likely to happen as a reaction to exposure to cold water. If you are in an environment where, perhaps due to currents, a cramp could be the difference between life and death, you shouldn't be there, cramps or no cramps. Just ask yourself; have you ever heard a pathologist or coroner announce that the cause of someone's death was "swimming on a full stomach"? No, I didn't think so.

Jimmy was running and screaming along the shore and his mommy was feeling lazy and couldn't be bothered looking out for him, so she invoked Drowns Syndrome.

Drowns Syndrome by Fearman September 27, 2007

Get merch

drowns the fish

"sidestepping a touchy subject"

The paper ran the story on its front page under the headline, “When the Red Cross drowns the fish,” a reference to sidestepping a touchy subject. Pro Publica

drowns the fish by oldcodgerette June 19, 2015

Get merch

drowns and only jake can save me

*drowns and only Jake can save me*

You're probably a smol bean in royale high if you say this.
Drowns and only Jake can save me
Jake: stfu I'm done with you.

drowns and only jake can save me by UUUUUYYYYYYYY December 19, 2021

Get merch

Drowns Syndrome

Urban myth that blames drowning incidents on swimmers entering the water too soon after a meal; supposedly you get cramps and go kerplunk to the bottom. Used by lazy parents who want to get some decent shut-eye after a picnic. Some adults go on actually believing it too. In fact, cramps can affect you at any time and not particularly after a meal; if they hit you in the water they will not adversely affect your buoyancy nor even do too much damage to your swimming skills. If you are in water where, perhaps due to currents, this affliction would likely make the difference between life and death, you shouldn't be there, cramps or no cramps.

Just ask yourself; what do you think the odds would be if you went up to a coroner or pathologist and asked them if they had ever filed a cause of someone's death as "swimming on a full stomach?" No, I didn't think so.

Jimmy was screaming and running along the water's edge and his mum was too fat and lazy to watch out for her kids like she ought to, so she invoked Drowns Syndrome.

Drowns Syndrome by Fearman December 15, 2008

Get merch

Shuffle